Do you find that your sexual preferences influence your view on everyday situations? It seems as a naive question, but it's been the newest revelation of mine. A couple of weeks ago, I visited some old family friends. These are older people, friends of my parents, whom I haven't seen since I was a child. I had a really good time; they are great people and I loved it there. Now, they have a son, a guy a few years younger than me. He's this super open, super smart, bookishly nerdy, friendly person, very well read, successful in what he does. He's also cute, thin, slightly (very slightly) feminine. Obviously, I had an instant mini-crush. He's so sweet Anyway. Later I thought of the whole visit as being really nice, enjoyable, fun, all positive; I was happy. Then I started thinking.. what if everything had been the same, but the son had been a daughter? How would I feel about it all then? Well, I realized that this thought alone sucked the feeling of fun right out of the whole experience. If it were a girl, I wouldn't have enjoyed it half as much! But the thing is: it wasn't anything remotely sexual! It was just old friends catching up. We talked and ate, just spent some time together. If it were a girl, would I now consider the visit boring? I don't know what's real anymore.. Do you react like that? Is a meal better if in a restaurant you have a cute waiter? Do you enjoy work (school) more if there's an attractive guy there? I'm not talking about people you have feelings for; of course those will make anything better. I'm talking about gender bias, just simply experiencing something as "better" just because the person happened to be male and not female (or vice versa).
I wouldn't say that my sexual orientation has much effect on how I view anything in life, besides who I find myself attracted to. However my gender identity definitly does. Since most people see me as male, sometimes I find it awkward to try to make female friends, even though I really want to. Part of that is because of society's expectation that a male and a female together means instant romance. I find that any situation is nicer when you are around someone you like, for whatever reason. Being bisexual, I don't have gender bias as far as people I like, or for the most part, who I feel comfortable around. My feelings come from the person, not the gender. There are certain times I am more comfortable around females than males, but often times it is just a matter of someone happening to be male or female. I hope this all makes sence. I have one question though, what do you mean you don't know what is real anymore? Sometimes I feel a little like that because I have grown up being used to one set of "realities" either from friends, family, or society, only to find out that they are not the whole truth.
