So... Do you ever wish you weren't gay?

If you wish to be something you're not and cannot be, then maybe you should work on more fully accepting yourself. It's the most proactive thing to do. Logistically, being gay can be a downer, but it can't be helped, and there are ways to find people in a non-hookup-like way. It can take effort.

 

I would've answered yes to this question years ago, but now, I'm pretty content with who I am. I did a lot of soul searching and it took years for me to fully accept who I am. Some people are just naturally proud while with others, it's an unpleasant feeling. I used to feel jealous of straight women because they could love a man the way I never could. It's easier being affectionate in public, yet a bit more difficult for our community to do the same thing. It's not a good feeling knowing you're "different" from everyone once else around you.

However, now, that I'm more secure with myself, I'd like to think that I am quite special because of that difference. I'm like, a rare species, which seems pretty awesome if you ask me. And as cheesy as it sounds, but it really does get better. I just think you need to train your mind to believe that there's nothing wrong with being who you are. Try to be more positive and eventually everything else will fall into place. And I'm not sure which dating sites you've been on, but I've had a ton of success, so keep trying.

 

Sometimes I think about things like having kids, not having to come out to certain people..

But basically, no. I feel so much more "me" than I did before I figured myself out. I wouldn't give up that clarity for anything in the world.

 

I think about that, but then I realize that I can't change it and that thinking about it won't get me anywhere. That's my thought process for a lot of things... :dry:

Srslywtf, what manga is your profile pic from? I must know!

 

I have my rare moments, but I'm pretty comfortable being me. I have become (in some way or another) confident around those people I've come out to, and meeting new people/old school-mates isn't that scary anymore because I'm not embarrassed of my sexuality.

Though I still have problems telling my sister straight out that I'm bisexual/gay.
Kind of trying to figure out that one. I'm not straight, for sure!

 

All the fucking time. Usually when a boy is making me feel vulnerable, like a woman. lol. Drives me craaaazy. I should be the one sending mixed messages!

 

It's taken me that long to come out to myself as being Gay, I am now at the beginning of a new journey of self discovery, I was born Gay & nothing in the world can change that, all the what ifs in the world are never going to change who I am, so I have to accept myself & live my life to the fullest ride:

 

There's someone out there for you, you just have to keep trying. Believe me, it's not easy at all, but you could always make the first move by messaging someone you find attractive. You can try at the least and if they are not interested then that's fine, that's their loss. There's plenty of fish in the sea

 

It would be a lot easier, but I really can't see myself being with a girl. But if I was straight I guess I wouldn't feel like that.

 

Well, in kind of environment we are living in, it is hard to be yourself. Since birth we have been forced to be like others want us to be and that is the main source of confusion and doubts. I was living a "proper" life (driven by fear, shame) but since I know, scientifically know that I cannot change, only thing to do is forget about "being proper" and make your living standards from scratch. I had to accept that most of the society is delusional about what is right and what is wrong about human sexuality and purpose of family and relationship. Actually most of the ppl dont know shit about what is a human in general. They think they do and thats were all problems begin.
I did a research on family and sexuality issues before christianity came to be (this really was and still is the worst that could happen to mankind) and it shows that only because of religion humans was and still is forced to adjust themselves to some delusional and fake ideas of how they are supposed to live. In Greece for example, men had to have a wife, had to have children but didnt have to pretend that they are not in to other men. Well, not all was that great for women at that time, but homosexual relationships were totally ok. And so on. None of prechristian cultures cared about who loves who if it wasnt hes wife or someone else wife and that was only for rational reasons - no man wanted to feed other mans child.
So my point is, that if you guys wanna keep your parents views on life, relationships, sexuality and all that stuff you are doomed to feel unhappy. We cannot fit in to those unnatural medieval standards by which most of the world is living.
Its not easy, I have a friend, and she isnt doing that great in terms of accepting that she must make her life her own because she is lesbian and her parents are fucked up christians from country side. We talk very much about these issues and it is hard because we are so used to adopt to hostile environment towards homosexuals and sexuality in general that we loose ourselves. Its sometimes was so bad that I just had to almost cry in her face "you like girls, you are lesbian! Stop pretending! It will get only worse"
We have to build our own views, ways and principles, relationships. No used to standards will work. Everyone of us is different just as our fingerprints. So it is important not to try to fit into standards, but by knowing yourself make right choice.
So many heterosexual families have problems just because ppl think they know the right way because everyone is doing the same. And they prove this approach to be wrong all the time - divorce, violence, oppressed sexual life etc.
Dont bend your self, bend environment around your self.

 

I wish I wasn't gay every single day... To be honest it just feels like unnecessary stress... but I am so I have to deal with it, the issue with me is that I have no idea how to deal with it, I am not out and I don't know anyone who is gay... I just feel like giving up.

 

6 months ago I would've been feeling like how you were but I have started accepting myself for who I am and now I'm just going with the flow and living it out x]

 

There was a time when I would have said yes. Well, I DID say yes, and spent many years telling myself in a panic, "I CAN'T be gay!" over and over. If I wasn't gay, I wouldn't hate myself, I wouldn't eat all the time to feel less depressed, and my marriage wouldn't suck. Well, guess what? Pretty much all of that happened, not BECAUSE I was gay, but because I was gay and didn't WANT to be. So now I don't hate myself, I'm not nearly so depressed and don't take refuge in bags of Fritos and Chinese buffets, and I'm working towards euthanizing my marriage so that I can be happy and my wife can be....whatever it is that passes for happy in her rather confusing brain. So nope, I don't waste ANY time wishing I weren't gay anymore!

 

Almost every day, but the feeling gets less and less the more you realize you can't change.

I hope one day my desire to be straight will be as strong as my desire to be wealthy(which is strong in the sense that I want it but it doesn't really matter).

 

Yeah, but just because it would make things easier (not having to come out, having a much larger dating pool, being able to have kids easily, etc). I'm comfortable with being gay, it's just that it makes things kind of complicated sometimes.

 

I'm still trying to figure out whether I'm bi or gay (but honestly think I'm probably a lesbian). And the thing is ... grrr, I tried so damn hard to like boys like the rest of the world, and I felt like a total outcast. I've only recently come to terms with my being bi or gay and totally get it.