Brand new here and needed an outlet. I have had a few lesbian relationships in the past but always resort back to men to have the 'normal' life ( by society standards). I have been in a monogamous heterosexual relationship for 2 years and have an 8 month old baby. He knows I am not satisfied in the relationship and understands my desire to be with women. Thoughts of women are the only thing that pleases my sexual appetite. He said last night that if I peruse women, he backs me up and just wants us to be a strong unit for our child. Is there anyone here who has been in a similar situation and have any insight? This situation seems like it can get pretty tricky quickly in dealing with our 'bible belt' families and just the overall magnitude of sexual orientation. I want to be happy and feel complete in every aspect of my life
Hi, TrappedLove, welcome to EC! You've come to the right place for help and hopefully, my experiences will help you sort out your current issues. I am also a mother, of three boys to be exact and they are my world. I would do anything for them, including sacrificing my happiness so they can have the best life possible. My kids father and I were together on and off for 4-5 years, but we are no longer together because I am gay. We really tried to make things work for the kids, but things did not workout. However, everything is great; my ex and I have a wonderful relationship. His mother keeps our boys during weekends, so they can spend time with him. I think we made the best decision for our kids because I was not happy. And he was not happy with me and I felt really bad for years, that's why I denied my attraction towards women. We had fun during our time together and I do not have any regrets. Although, I do wish that I would have accepted who I am sooner because we could've saved ourselves a ton of heartache and pain. I think you should really think about what it is that you wish to gain from a relationship with a woman. Is it purely sexual or emotional, as well? I tried to get my ex to allow me to date women as well, but he was not comfortable with that idea, which ultimately led to our breakup. I couldn't ask him to be okay with that because it isn't fair to all parties involved. When I'm with someone, I want all of them, I don't want to share, so I could understand his point of view. If anything, just be honest with yourself. What would happen if you fall in love with a woman, where would that leave your boyfriend? I know how difficult it is to walk away from someone you love, but it is best to do it sooner than later. I kept putting things off in hopes that I'd feel different, but I got pregnant again, which made leaving more difficult. I'm here if you ever want to talk (*hug*)
Thank you so much for your reply! It's nice to hear that I'm not the only girl who has ever felt this way! My feeling towards women is not just sexual, I long for companionship, love, friendship, and understanding. I have experienced these emotions and feelings in both sexes, but I am just physically turned off by men. I have suppressed these feelings for too long. He is open to me dating women, but I have a feeling like that will get old pretty quickly and could be weird for her as well. I currently have no interests in any particular women since I spend the majority of my time with my daughter and at home. I am interested in getting out and just meeting those with my similar interests and looking for friendship.
I guess it depends on the girl you're dating because I've heard that some bisexual/lesbian women find it difficult dating women with kid(s.) I have three boys and the girl I'm dating now is very understanding; she knows that my time is previous, so we make the best of it. So, I think for you it would be best to find a woman that has a kid(s), that way she will understand your situation a bit better. And I think the "I have a boyfriend", speech might be hard for some women to understand because I do not want to share the person I am dating with anyone. Bisexuals already receive a lot of criticism because people feel like they cannot be monogamous, so there's another issue that you will be faced with. If anything, I think you should figure out what is best for you, especially while your daughter is still young. My boys are absolutely fine even though their father and I are not together. I get that you want to make things work for the sake of your child. However, in order to be the best mother possible, you have to make the best decision for you and your daughter. I still love my kids father, but no matter how much I wanted it to work, it did not. Therefore, I had not choice, but to let go. I know it is hard, but think about what would make you happiest
