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Trouble with sister and ex-wife...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ttmab, Aug 1, 2013.

  1. ttmab

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    So my wife and I divorced somewhat recently. She was the one who asked for the divorce, but we both knew it was for the best. Now, the thing is, we are both completely okay with this. We are still the best of friends, and are both supportive of each other. Our families don't feel the same. I've come to accept that this will probably always be the case. People don't resolve their emotions in a half-hour time frame like they do in sitcoms.

    That being said, what particularly troubles me is the relationship between my sister and my ex. They were close friends until the divorce. Now my sister hates her. My ex is more than willing to put the past behind them and continue their friendship, but my sister refuses.

    The problem is, she blames my ex for 'ruining my life' by divorcing me. This simply isn't the case. If anyone ruined my life, it was me. I made stupid choices and put burdens on her she should never have had to bear (and vice versa). Sometimes, things just break, and it's no one's fault. But I can't seem to make my sister understand this. She acts petulantly about it. She won't even refer to my ex by name (I didn't marry Voldemort, ffs! :lol:slight_smile:. I've tried to make her understand, but apparently she thinks I'm deluded or something. She's a very stubborn person, and always has been, holding grudges even to her detriment.

    This sucks. I love them both, and I hate to see my sister throw away their friendship over a perceived slight that isn't even there. Is there anything I can do to help her understand that it isn't anybody's fault, and that her continued hatred hurts me too?
     
  2. greatwhale

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    You need to tell her exactly what you told us, in those same words. Writing to her might work...
     
  3. ttmab

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    Hmm. Good idea. I've always been better at expressing myself through writing...

    I guess the problem is, I don't want to drive a wedge between us. I know that because I'm her brother she'll always love me, but I'm worried if I force the issue I'll drive her away.
     
  4. greatwhale

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    Make sure you tell her exactly that.