My best friend died earlier this week, the first person I came out to, the person who stood by my side when my family turned their back on me and he took my relationships seriously when they didn't work out, he even tried to help me out when it came to dating (he was straight and couldn't spot a gay guy if one hit him in the face) but he tried. I don't think I would be where I am at now if it hadn't been for him. We were roommates and everywhere I look I'm reminded of him, he was raised in foster care and his only living relative is his father who's serving life in prison and I'm left going through his stuff and I feel like I'm violating his privacy but I know I have to do it. And the most disturbing thing I've found have been the copies of the welfare records of his childhood, I have found out that my best friend was severely abused by his mother and father, he had scars on his face and neck from being hit with a hammer at 7 years old and was in countless foster homes. And it literally makes my heart ache to see how hard his life had been and then for it to be just be cut short. He was so full of life and honestly the happiest person I've ever met, he never let anything bother him even when rude people would ask how he got his scars (including myself) he'd always laugh and say that is was a tragic gopher hunting accident or it happened when he tried to save a kitten from a pack of grizzly bears. I realize now how much I depended on him and the thought of moving on scares the living hell out of me and I'm so thankful for the time I had with him, even though he was younger than me he was like an older brother, he stood up for me when a couple of guys threatened to beat me up for wearing a gay pride shirt, he never treated me any different than he did anyone else and for that I'll always be grateful. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this, I found this site and just needed to that off of my chest.
So sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences to you, it is never easy losing someone so close, he sounded like a survivor & this made him a strong person, he sounded like he was there for you & had some happy times as Best Friends, it does take time to come to terms with, but your memories will see you through it, these are what we have to hold onto & the fact that we were honored to have been a part of their life & as long as we have those Memories, then they never really die, not in our hearts anyway (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
What can anyone say...this is so sad. All you can do now is talk about him, tell others what his life was about, and what he meant to you. His memory is in your hands, and your friendship with him was part of his purpose in life. Let his memory serve to remind you that no matter how bad one's circumstances can be, it's a matter of attitude and resilience, and he seems to have been a master of both. My condolences for your loss. May you live with a spirit of gratitude for having had the privilege of being his friend and a spirit of compassion and caring for those whose situations are similar to what his were.
I am so very sorry, just reading the story hurt so much Sometimes, the people who got through hell, will become angels. I am sure you have made his life nice and happy. If you ever need help, rant or cry on someone's shoulder, please come here (((hug)))
Thank you for sharing this (*hug*) I know you're probably going to do this anyway, but keep the memory of your friend in your heart and mind and in a sense he will always be there for you. It's only been a short time and you're allowed to grieve for a while. Grieving is part of the process of getting better. But after that, pull yourself together, look around you, and move forward with your life and make it the best one you can (whatever that might mean for you). It sounds like your friend would have liked that and by doing so you can honor his memory. Hope this helps and if you need to talk, EC is always here for you. (&&&) Todd
Sometimes there are people who are there to help us go on and realise the greater things in life. He was one of them people. Sadly, a lot of these people die young, but they are still in our heaets. They will guide you, from past experiences or afterlife-intervention, who knows?
I think that if someone remembers us the way you remember your friend, it will mean that we lived our lives well. Many people, myself included, tend to forget about that sometimes. Maybe your post and the way you talked about him, will serve as a reminder and the love your friend was showing to the world will spread even farther. (((hug)))
I am so sorry that you lost your friend. His childhood may of been hard for him. He found a great friend in you and always will be with you.
