My parents and therapist are talking about putting me into an inpatient hospital for bipolar, suicide, and self harm. Nothing has worked so far, no medications or therapy have made me any better. I keep trying to kill myself and my self harm is only getting worse so I understand why. It's just that I don't think I want to be saved anymore. I'm tired and broken, I just wish one of my attempts would actually work. I've been in an inpatient hospital before but each stay was a week at most. This could be months of 24/7 suicide watch when all I want is for life to be over. I'm 19, almost 20. I still have every right to refuse to go don't I? Hell I'm not even ready to be 20 yet, I can't even take care of myself. I don't know what to do and right now I'm considering hanging myself. What's stopping me I don't really know; Parents, pain, some hidden hope? It's only a matter of time. I don't want to be locked up like I'm crazy, what can I do?
I think you can be committed against your will if you try to kill yourself. So no, you might not be able to refuse. As for how to avoid it, either talk them out of it or show some improvement, I guess. But maybe it would help? I don't know. You know your situation better than I do. I don't know how to go about solving your problems, unfortunately, but know that you're not alone (*hug*). And you are worth saving.
First off, you're not crazy, but you are hurting. A lot it seems and I'm sorry to hear that. What is stopping you is the same reason as why you posted; you are strong and you have got that spark of hope in you still. It doesn't feel like it, I get that (I do, not the same reasons maybe, but I've been there) but you're still fighting. And you deserve to keep fighting. If you end things now, then there's no chance it will ever get better. If you don't, then the future can still offer you happiness eventually. You do have the right to refuse, but then you risk being sectioned. Maybe talk to your therapist some more, access help on an outpatient basis? (((((Big hugs)))))
I've tried to kill myself twice today, you guys might be right I might not have a choice. God this sucks
These feelings are not permanent, and as long as you have the will to keep fighting, there is hope. Your parents and your therapist want what's best for you, or they wouldn't be discussing ways to help you cope. The good news is we all have the power of choice, and by joining EC, making this thread, and not going through with suicide, you're choosing life. There is nothing wrong with receiving help, and sometimes, it is necessary: the difference between living and dying, in extreme cases. Is tomorrow ever guaranteed? Well, no, but the few beautiful moments make living worthwhile. Never feel like you don't have options, because you do.
