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I just want someone warm to hold at night..

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SleeplessS, Aug 6, 2013.

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  1. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    I'm a loner, okay?
    I'm not particularly good at making new friends let alone relationships, relationships scare me a bit, the hassle that goes into starting them, the period of two people getting used to each others idiosyncrasies, ect, ect..All of my relationships kinda started themselves and so I really know NOTHING of what goes into starting a relationship or even dating, frankly I find the whole thing kinda silly and well, just not me..

    I'm comfortable alone, especially after the last breakup that had me depressed and suicidal and in therapy, I'm finding myself and getting comfortable in that knowledge. I know myself well enough by now to know what I need right now and what I don't need. I don't need drama that a relationship entails and I am pretty old fashioned (and old) whereas I just can't be physical with a person if we aren't involved.

    And I also agree with a thought that in order to be able to HAVE a healthy relationship one must first be whole and know oneself well - as well as not everyone is meant to live a life in relationship and life ISN'T about relationships - well not always anyway.

    You get the picture. But god, sometimes even a solitary animal like myself can get bouts of loneliness and wish there was a warm squishy body to hold near them at night.

    Maybe I am just hormonal..
    Just ranting..but sometimes it gets hard..
     
    #1 SleeplessS, Aug 6, 2013
  2. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Would a virtual hug be OK too?

    [​IMG]
     
    #2 Nick07, Aug 6, 2013
  3. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Yes very much so, thank you Nick
     
    #3 SleeplessS, Aug 6, 2013
  4. findingmyheart

    findingmyheart
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    Hugs!!!!

    (&&&)

    (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
    #4 findingmyheart, Aug 6, 2013
  5. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    thank you heart
     
    #5 SleeplessS, Aug 6, 2013
  6. Englishlad

    Englishlad
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    I am sending you a hug. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Englishlad, Aug 6, 2013
  7. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Thanks Englishlad
     
    #7 SleeplessS, Aug 7, 2013
  8. letzdance109

    letzdance109 Guest

    I'll give you a hug too! Haha, virtual hugs can still be as good as a real one! It lets you know that there are people who care, and we all care (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
    #8 letzdance109, Aug 7, 2013
  9. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    :slight_smile: thank you letzdance...it's comforting to know, really..
     
    #9 SleeplessS, Aug 7, 2013
  10. Northern

    Northern
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    There is nothing wrong with feeling loney, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship. I think maybe a relationship but taking it slow could be good for you. That way you could get used to being in a relationship and not feel lonely, without feeling completely bombarded, but in the meantime just know we got hugs for you!

    *Gives big ol squishy hugs*

    There you go :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Northern, Aug 7, 2013
  11. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Thank you Northern..well I don't know about going slow..no one to go slow with is what I'm trying to say I guess and a complete lack of experience at getting someone to go slow with + no desire to get them got me in that condition I guess :slight_smile: if I make any sense at all..
     
    #11 SleeplessS, Aug 7, 2013
  12. SimpleMan

    SimpleMan
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    I know the feeling.

    (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*)
    (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&)
    (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*)
    (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&)
    (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*)
    (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&)

    Lots of hugs!
     
    #12 SimpleMan, Aug 7, 2013
  13. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Thank you Simpleman :slight_smile:
     
    #13 SleeplessS, Aug 8, 2013
  14. LinkLarkin

    LinkLarkin
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    I feel the same way as most of your post (*hug*)
     
    #14 LinkLarkin, Aug 8, 2013
  15. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Glad to know I am not the only one I guess? Sorry to hear you do feel that way though..
     
    #15 SleeplessS, Aug 8, 2013
  16. KingdomKeyDK

    KingdomKeyDK
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    Sometimes I cry myself to sleep knowing that the person I love is so far away. It hurts to not have them near you. I always wish my life could be different. The pain of having to keep secrets from the ones who care about you is really hard. Knowing that now I am feeling my orientation, it hurts even more. Telling people my feelings is kind of hard. At least I know I have friends that will support me. Don't give up on your love life just yet. That warm body will be there soon. That's what I keep telling myself. At least at some point I will see that lover of mine. It's hard and I understand. It's lonely without your lover sitting there next to you. He'll come for me at some point and I'm sure of it.
     
    #16 KingdomKeyDK, Aug 8, 2013
  17. diegohrz

    diegohrz
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    Hey,

    Let me start off by sending you some virtual hugs as well :slight_smile:.

    As far as relationships go, I think it is already a very good thing that you know what you want and don't want right now and that you're comfortable being alone. To me, that makes you a strong person. And about the hugs, I think anyone can relate. I think every human being needs intimacy. It's just in our nature.

    Btw, I do agree that you have to know and love yourself before you can love another but then again, if everybody had to have everything figured out before jumping into a relationship, humans would probably go extinct. Let's just agree that relationships are hard!

    I also see you have a brother. If it's just a hug you need, maybe you can "abuse" him to satisfy your hugging needs? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I hug my friends and family all the time, and it does help you reach a certain threshold of physical contact (omg, that sounds so sad :lol:slight_smile:
     
    #17 diegohrz, Aug 8, 2013
  18. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    [​IMG]

    a hug, a hug! my kingdom for a hug!

    like you, and like many ECers it seems, i long for the healing powers of a simple hug.
     
    #18 Amerigo, Aug 8, 2013
  19. RocketMoose27

    RocketMoose27
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    To be blunt, I don't like being around people because it's WAY too much trouble.

    But i'm not going to lie here, I too feel lonely every week or two because I just want somebody to hug and feel close to...
    The thought of feeling someone's squishiness when cuddling/hugging is extremely soothing for me. (That sounded kind of creepy-ish :dry: )
    Ah what the hell, cyber hugs for everybody! (&&&)
     
    #19 RocketMoose27, Aug 8, 2013
  20. SleeplessS

    SleeplessS
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    Thank you. Thing is we are a very dysfunctional family...
    we don't hug and don't touch we never kiss..my relationship with my parents is to say the least and mildly - strained, my bro is closer but not too much. I am alone. I do have friends but I do not feel like pestering them..besides it's a different kind of warmth I am talking about if you know what I mean..

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2013 at 04:17 PM ----------
    (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2013 at 04:19 PM ----------

    You didn't sound creep-ish at all to me :slight_smile:..I know the feeling all too well..
     
    #20 SleeplessS, Aug 8, 2013
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