I recently had a horrible brake up because my ex-bf believes "he needs only a wife in his life". But I've been seeing him. Two days ago we were in a conversation and I asked him that if he had a naked woman in a video or a man (like in porn, being dirty) what made him hard. He was not answering but so he said "well ok, the man but thats because my mind already knows I will jerk off..." I am so frustrated by his denial. He believes he educated his penis to react to men! Is he right and the mind controls our erections or is it just his denial?
There are at least a couple of hang-ups here that cry out for explanation! Yes, the mind is the most important sexual organ, but no, when it comes to desire, that is something we have pretty much no control over. The mind will give you the context, you provide the imagination...and the mind will direct Mr. Happy to give him an erection. He has an enormous problem with understanding and accepting himself and what he feels, he needs some serious alone time to sort this through. Was he even capable of an emotional attachment with a guy?
We had a sort of a relationship for 9 months... He was always complicated and affraid but he really did liked me (and I believe he still does). But he is so affraid of the judgment and of being "abnormal" that he prefers to leave me to find a woman who gives him what I gave and make him feel as I made... Also he is 29 and as he had already gfs (as many gays before they accept themselves) he uses that as an excuse of how its possible for him to be happy with a woman... Is it a mind problem? I dont know what to think anymore...
Well... what's clear is he isn't ready to deal with being gay. So your best bet is to move on. Even if you somehow convinced him, he's got a lot of self esteem and other issues that will require a lot of therapy and time to work out, so you're probably better off finding someone healthier... can't help anyone who isn't asking for, or ready for, help.
Thanks, you're right. I've been suffering for both of us, for seeing how the path he is choosing will frustrate him and I need to give him space at least...
