One of my best friends (a girl) is becoming really homophobic, I mean she's always been a little but it's getting worse. Earlier today we were discussing about the first gay couple getting married in our city and she said it was disgusting and she ended saying that she was so glad they will never be happy, as if she was sure! I only laughed and told her it was a horrible thing to say. She has seriously no idea I'm gay, she only thinks I'm a very open minded person, if only she knew better! The thing is that even as ignorant on the subject as she is, she's still a smart and nice girl and I really like her, she would literaly do anything for me. But still sometimes I think how can I be friends with someone like that?! I don't plan to ever come out to her, but when gossip reaches her (cause there will be eventually) I think it will be very hard cause I mean the world to her, she's told me and proved it, so it will be very interesting to see how her POV on gay people will change when she learns her dearest friend is one of those "disgusting" people. :icon_sad: Have you experienced something similar?
I've had very awkward moments where people I care about bash "those people". In some ways it's a lot of fun to imagine their reactions when they find out one day...:badgrin: I'd like to think that solid relationships that have tested real time can't be undone in one revealing conversation.
A person who can say such cruel things like that and be so close-minded as such is no friend of mine. I pity her, truly. She can't judge people by character and chooses to judge by orientation. I don't know what to tell you other than, I have no idea why you're friends with her. She makes you fearful to be yourself. What kind of relationship is that?
I couldn't tolerate a person in my life that has so much hatred. I cut a friend off because he kept calling people that choose to walk around barefooted as 'Ferals who can't afford simple decency and respect.' (His exact words). I was terribly offended so I asked him to not talk to me again. But it is your life, your call...just imagine how much of friend she will be when you come out
I know exactly what you mean! I have a friend who is like family to me but on a daily basis he loves to make jokes about gay people and funnily enough I laugh at them and I mean no disrespect to anyone but they are funny and if I'm down then he puts on a stereotypical gay voice to cheer me up which works but he hates Gay people completely! I don't want to loose a friend like him but at the end of the day - I'm gay and I know for a fact he would NEVER accept me if I came out to him and that is a FACT. This was evident when a rumour started as a "joke" at first about me being gay (not directed at me being gay but just as an insult) and he stayed away for weeks till everyone found out it was a rumour. So, at the end of the day I know our friendship is temporary so I might as well have fun while it lasts! We are going seperate ways this year in the fall anyways.
She is not your friend. Friends are people who agree with us on more important (to us) issues. Seriously if she reacts this way to a gay couple getting married, what on earth will she say when you decide to walk down the aisle? I think its time to reevaluate what we are getting from this relationship. If she is getting worse instead of better it may very well be she is in love with you and is pissed that she can't have you.... Think about that.
Yes, more than once, and from both guys and girls. The guys are more crass and blunt about their observations, sometimes as attempts at humor, and the girls are more analytical and pensive about their observations, generally speaking. I have one friend who reminds me of your friend. She is a religious fanatic. She is in an unhappy marriage, virtually devoid of intimacy. The subject of homosexuality came up and she squirmed and said "Eew, it's just so unnatural." Granted, it may be reproduce the human race, per "God's plan," but how does she know it doesn't feel good? At any rate, irrespective of who knows where you stand, and what you will disclose or not disclose to certain people, I find that people with that level of negativity usually wind up getting purged from the roster of friends. In time, you may find you no longer enjoy her company. Buena suerte.
Thanks for your advice guys, I guess I could just stop being friends with her but it would be a pity as I do care about her a lot. However I'm hoping my coming out (if I ever) will help her change her mind. She doesn't have to like it or approve it just respect it, and I believe things change for many people when they hit them so close. Now, if she continues to be like that after she learns about me then I'm done with her, I mean, I don't expect her to become a LGBT supporter but to at least reconsider what she thinks and says about the matter, but I can only hope now. And yes she had a huge crush on me, I believe she still does so that will make things even more awkward when she finds out.
Then just wait to decide whether or not you want to keep being friends, relative to how her harsh views on same sex intimacy change or remain the same. For the quote, I think this happens a lot. There are good guys that women meet in school, through friends, or at work - guys who are attractive, smart, and have good personalities - and they become attracted to them, and these guys are gay or bi. And it can be a lot to process the unrequited situation, and sometimes they feel very hurt.
Your welcome. I'm sure she'll see you as the same great person with the same great qualities you had before the moment she finds out you are gay. She might even become your biggest advocate. :icon_bigg
