Yet another weekend alone

Have you tried online dating? I believe people have some success with it.

As for you being home alone on a Saturday night, is there anything preventing you from going out by yourself?

 

Could you possibly travel from time to time? Either taking a long weekend every month or two or a weekend trip (leave Friday night, get home Sunday), or even just day trips to someplace interesting?

If you can go places where there are decent gay bars or other LGBT groups or organization, you might not have something going on every weekend, but you could have something going on sometimes and the memory of those to help you along on those weekends you have to stay home. And in the process you might also meet someone who can fill your weekend time on a more regular basis...

Just some thoughts,

Todd

 

Diego, are you in D.F. or a secondary city? Because, I would think that there would be activity type stuff you can join if in D.F., Guadalajara, Acapulco, and Mexico's big cities, where you can meet others, who are either single and want to hang out, or might be interested in taking things further.

 

I have been in the lonely boat before, and I know that it's no cruise ship. But you can't let it decide the course of your life. I got very emotional and desperate and that let me into a three year relationship that ended in tears and was composed of even more tears. Just because your friends are in serious relationships doesn't mean that you have to be really looking for one. I spend almost all of my free time with friends and family. If they don't have time and find a new friend or I just spend time out riding my motorcycle. I'm single, but I'm not our searching for a girlfriend. If I see someone whose number I'd like, I might ask for it or I might not. If I go out on a date and it goes well then we'll go out on another date. Let your life be compose of the people you love and the things you love to do. That makes dating a whole lot easier, I promise. By the way, we're practically the same age. Getting married or settling down can wait as long as it needs for you to find a really good match : )

 

Yeah, I'm off work for the summer, and so I basicaly spend every day alone without friends or significant others. I live in NY too, so I suppose I have no excuse and should try going to lgbt events. Hopefully you'll work something out and make some kind of friend or something.

 

Wow i can relate 100%! I really wanna,start dating but dont know any LGBT groups in my area either it really sucks! And i heard its hard to meet someone that wants a serious relationship at gay bars sooo... I know how u feel!

 

¡Qué tal, Diego!

Bueh, espero te encuentres bien...

You're lucky... at least you have friends and you still can do things with them during the week... I've been in the same position as you, exactly when I was the same age. Right now, I'm only out to few people (only one good friend, but no one in my family). But when I decided to start dating, I didn't come out, but I just started meeting guys (and would let them know that I wasn't out). Many times, they understood... for me, it was a long process... chances are you won't meet "tu príncipe azul" right away... keep trying online dating. I'm from South America, but have been living in the US for a long time. When I was in South America, I tried online dating, and it was much more difficult than here in the U.S., but it's definitely a start. I did meet people and, if nothing else, went out and had a decent enough time. Give it some time though... You're still young so just focus on living your life and don't place so much emphasis on trying to find someone... it'll happen when you least expect it.

Te deseo todo lo mejor y espero que te sirva esto para algo.

 

Hola Diego89

I met my partner through online dating. I had A LOT of coffee dates with a great variety of men before I met my guy, but from the day we met, we've been together ever since (16 years). I tell you this because online dating is not easy anywhere... you have to be patient , you have to be selective, and of course you have to be careful.

One other idea that seemed to work for me was to attend events that attracted a greater number of gay people, like gallery or art openings, concerts, shows, etc.

At the same time, both of these are ways to get out of the house and have fun!

Good luck to you.

With much aloha,
Milan

 

Just to clarify... when I said online dating was easier in the US than in South America, for example, I just meant that it was easier to meet someone given that there are generally more people who use this type of service. For example, there could be 1000 or more people within a 50 mile radius from where I live in the US, but in my city abroad, there could be 1000 people in the entire country who use the service and only about 10 of those who live near me.

 

hi diego,

im no dating expert but i will just butt in... lol
try online dating or social applications on the phone.

create your profile, a description of yourself, hobbies, interests etc... i admit i have poor social skills because i am awkward at times and shy in person so i ocassionally go online...

some people go online not just for dating but also for networking. i met decent guys there that i am good friends with now, but i also have my share of terrible experiences from meeting guys online lol. so if you will try this route my only advise is just be friendly, never take it personal when you don't get a response back and don't expect anything in particular out of it. the thing with online dating though is even with a picture everyone still remain anonymous, and create a different persona of themselves so when the time comes you meet them in person, they are totally different from the person you talked to online, so just be aware of that.

i guess you don't have many gay friends? so why not start from there? you will meet cool guys that you can be friends with, can be a wingman when you go out to bars or some gay friendly places, who knows? they have a friend who they can pair you up with. just be open to all the possibilities.....

i feel you about the loneliness, it sucks sometimes but don't let this consume you... smile it's just a phase..... i met guys that i connect with, when i'm not looking..... for now just enjoy being single and have fun with it

 

I've tried online dating for years. I'm already 28. To tell you honestly, it was never successful. But I've met wonderful friends online which I eventually became close with offline. We meet from time to time to drink and celebrate life.

As to the man of my dreams I am still skeptical as to the possibility of finding him online. I guess it also depends on your location. Like for me, I came from the Philippines so finding the man with shared values online proves to be very very difficult.

As to interracial relationships, it is also not easy due to proximity and other factors.

---------- Post added 14th Aug 2013 at 03:11 PM ----------

Diego, please forgive me for inserting in your thread. I can't send any private messages right now because I'm still a new member. Please feel free to share your thoughts regarding my situation. Hi Milan. My name is Marky. I've read your posts here in EC and I thought you're kind of mature enough to give some words regarding my situation, although I'm a bit older than you. I'm already 28 by the way.

I came out and confessed to a guy that I've been secretly in love with for seven years through a letter. I gave him the letter yesterday. He's been really nice to me ever since and he is not ashamed to hold my hand whenever we see each other. We never added each other in FB and he only texts me recently whenever he needs something. When we really like somebody, our mind plays tricks on us. Whether we like it or not, our mind searches for any signs or glimmer of hope that the other also feels something similar for us. In my letter I said that I know he is straight and I just belong in his friend zone. He is just too nice and he probably sees me as his younger brother. The last part of the letter goes like this:

“I know things will definitely become awkward after this. Don’t feel pressured to reply or whatsoever. If silence is your way of telling me that you can never reciprocate, it’s better that way. If you don’t feel the same way, with all due respect, I think we have nothing to talk about. But we can still be civil, don’t worry. I know you just probably see me as a younger brother. Please don’t worry about me. I promise I’ll deal with this in a very mature way. I promise I’ll ask a lot of guys out and date each one of them to get over. I’m sure I’ll be able to find somebody, somebody who I can have a relationship that’s worth fighting for and dying for and hopefully last for a lifetime.

I think that’s all I have to say. It feels as if a big weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders. I’m sorry that this has to be a bit corny and dramatic but it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping ever since. I hope you understand.

I wish us all the best. May God eventually lead us to our ultimate happiness.”

Until now he didn’t reply, as expected. I sometimes have mood swings and couldn’t stop thinking of whether I did the right thing or not, of whether I destroyed something or not. I sometimes feel guilty and down of what I did. Did I degrade myself or anything? Was it offensive? What do you think? :tears:

 

Thanks, Diego.

Keep us posted from time to time on how you're doing!

Milan