So, I just got back from visiting some friends in Long Island over the weekend, and I met my future roommate. He seems like a cool guy, but I'm not exactly sure how he's going to react to me being gay. I seriously doubt that my friends told him, I don't think they're as comfortable with my sexuality as I thought they were. I mean, they don't have a problem with it, but they seem to be very hush-hush about it. I've noticed a difference in the way they talk to me, they used to ask me about any opportunities I've had with girls or how they wanted to get me laid, you know, straight-guy talk. My one friend still says "that's gay" and "don't be a fag" all the time, but I know he doesn't mean anything by it. After all, he never says those things to me, but he still accidentally lets it slip once in a while, though I can tell he tries not to when I'm around. I have the impression that my sexual preference has kind of become the elephant in the room, and I'm really worried about how it's going to affect our friendship, especially since I can tell that they'd rather just ignore the fact that I prefer guys. I don't really feel like I can be myself around them, it's almost like I'm back in the closet but everyone knows that I'm in there. It's just too bad because they're some of my best friends, but we'll see how it goes within the next month or so.
Well, that alone is a pretty big problem, isn't it? It not really fair for you to have friends that you can't be open around, that wouldn't be excited to meet your future partners, etc. It does mean that they are automatically terrible people; simply that it could be possible that you all might not be the best fit anymore. You don't have to cut them all off or anything; just don't limit yourself. Try to find LGBTQ friendly/oriented social areas and meet some new people. Try to expand your social circle with a few more like-minded editions.
It's unfortunate, but probably inevitable that your friends may drift away a bit with your revelation. It's important however to not go back into the closet just to keep their friendship, I think they will respect you if you are open about it, without only talking about that. And if their friendship is that important to you, and if they are true friends, I think they can handle a conversation on how you feel about their reaction. Inevitably, you will make new friends where you are going, be they gay or straight, you are young enough for new friendships and new beginnings.
