Hello, I broke up with my bofriend, who was the first and only one I've had, with whom I was for three years, in april, this year. Since then, I've been feeling down. I don't have friends, I don't go out.. in fact I've never had any in my life. It's extremely difficult for me to approach other people. I'm always anxious and nervous when I'm in a place other than my house. In my university, for example, which is a place to meet potential friends, I'm anxious, my heart rate increases, I feel like I'm about to cry at any moment , I feel like I want to escape and run back to my house. I think this has limited my life in a big way.. I feel I'm wasting my youth... Basically the reason for me to be so fearful is because I'm afraid of people..of what they might think of me, or of the possibility of them damaging or hurting me in any way. I think that may be because of my mother. She's the same. She's always scared, always thinking about what could go wrong, or the negative things in all situations. And she's the only person I really have contact with. I want to change, I don't want to live like this. Sorry if it was long, I needed to get it out of my chest. Any advice?
Sorry to hear about your boyfriend. But the experience will have taught you a lot ? About yourself and relating to others and that you are desirable and can love others?? And of course how you really CAN make friends! So well done you!! The feelings you describe sounds a lot like social anxiety, which may stem from all sorts of things. Shyness, low self esteem etc. Growing up hiding aspects of yourself. I was the same when I was at university and I very much kept myself to myself .. and over-worked to compensate. (Looking back, if I could speak to myself when I was your age I would give myself a strong talking to!). Because to break out of these mental patterns and getting 'out there' takes hard work and discomfort. But the rewards are worth it. If you can't manage it alone, think about therapy for a while and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in particular. This can be very helpful at conquering overwhelming fears. If you are actually depressed right now then therapy and/or meds might help lift you out of it. If you have moments of extreme anxiety, like you describe, your doctor may let you have something short term to calm you. Good luck !!
I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel very good. Haven't you thought about seeing a therapist? From what you've written, it looks kinda like social phobia symptoms (I'm not a doc, but it seems to me like that). You should find a friend that would help you through this hard time. Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk about anything. I don't know if I would be of any help, but sharing your problems with other people usually helps!
