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Advice for bottoming first time

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Wildwings, Aug 18, 2013.

  1. Wildwings

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    Ok I top usually but a guy that I have met recently was willing to bottom for me a few times but he said he usually like topping said or hinted if i wanted to try bottoming I could. I told him it would be my first time he did say his first time hurted like hell but after the pain it all ok once you anus is used to it and I would like it.

    I know this may sound stupid but I actually kind of nervous about how painful it will be but I want to try it.

    I just want some advice as to how to prepare for it or if it always painful first time?. I really want to try it but as I topped so much have no clue how to prepare so it a nice experience. or anyone who got experience with this subject to give some advice on what to do to make it less painful first time.
     
  2. Sorcerer

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    You could try asking one of the guys who bottomed for you...

    Or may be you don't want to come out to them.:lol:
     
  3. Wildwings

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    Thank for you constructive response why bother replying may i ask?. Like I said his experience it was painful but it was ok after. I just want to know is it always painful first time or can it be enjoyable and if there anyway to help stop or prevent it being painful.
     
    #3 Wildwings, Aug 18, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2013
  4. Pret Allez

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    I wish I could give you advise. One time I really wanted to bottom, but I couldn't relax my sphincter enough to let him in. He did finger me though, and that felt fucking amazing. Receptive anal intercourse is wonderful.

    I'd just try that first. There should be a lot of preparatory anal play I think before he just tries to penetrate. It'll make it a lot hotter and take some of the sting out of entry. It shouldn't hurt too much, or else why do we love it so much?
     
    #4 Pret Allez, Aug 18, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2013
  5. Wildwings

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    Thanks for at least saying something constructive and mature. Just some people was saying first time is painful some are saying it not and it very enjoyable first time etc around me. I just wanted to see what others experiences was here if they feel comfortable saying or do i just have to endure this pain?
     
  6. AKTodd

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    Short on time atm, but as I recall EC has a page on preparing for anal sex.

    The main bits are:

    Lots of lube (really, you can never use too much).

    Lots of open communication: Your partner can't feel what you are feeling, so you need to direct them (go slower, hold up, do that again, etc.)

    Take your time - there should be no rush and be prepared to take a lot of time prepping in terms of fingering, cuddling, kissing, etc. to get you nice and relaxed and feeling like you want him inside you. Also, thrusting should initially be slow and gentle. Porn type pistoning is both master-class level and an acquired taste. Experienced guys can relax in a second. You aren't and both you and your partner need to be aware of that up front.

    Start from a position where you both have a lot of control over the speed of entry and aren't fighting gravity. You on top or both of you on your sides is probably a good start. My first time was with a very well endowed guy, but because he took it slow and easy and we were on our sides, it didn't hurt a bit.

    Toys for anal stimulation can be a good interim step to get you both used to you getting penetrated and learning what feels good and how to relax and such. You can actually play with toys on your own (so no pressure) and then eventually bring your BF into the process to use them on you. Eventually you can replace the toy with him. Again, this process lets you get used to things and set the pace.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
  7. Wildwings

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    Where is the page did not see it? sorry if there a page already
     
  8. Jared

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  9. Wildwings

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    Thank you Jared for the link and also Todd for sharing some advice
     
  10. AKTodd

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    Happy to help:slight_smile: There are also lots of threads on this topic floating around. I'd suggest using the search feature and seeing what comes up.

    The biggest issue to work on is just getting relaxed enough to let him in without pain. This can be a bit tricky your first time since (because it's your first time) you are likely to be nervous and tense. Toys and/or fingering are a good way to get past this since they can lead to you already associating anal stimulation/penetration with pleasure before you ever get to letting a guy into you.

    On a final note, and as the EC article mentions, not all guys enjoy anal (even if they enjoy toys or fingering or the like). This can range from just liking other things better, to actively not liking it. No big deal if you don't. There are lots of other potential ways to play after all.

    Todd
     
  11. welshy92

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    Just relax and take it slow! i found sitting on him was easier as I had more control if you know what i mean :slight_smile:. Use plenty of lube (you can never use too much) and have a shower before or bath to clean yourself.

    Hope this helps