Do you guys ever feel like your head is against you ? If you've ever read any of my posts you'll know that for the past couple of weeks I've been really confused. There are days where I'm not but other days (especially today) where I am really confused and there is this big doubt and anxiety thing going on in my head. Basically I've always identified as lesbian since I began dating. I kissed a guy before and ended up feeling sick for days after because of it and even cried after But lately, like a few months after a breakup (not sure if this is relevant) I realized I was attracted to this actor in this show (Avan Jogia). Like I know a lot of other lesbians who also are attracted to him. It's not like I want to have sex with him like some of my straight friends do but I do notice how insanely hot he is. You must think I'm crazy for coming here for this. But I've always had overthinking and anxiety problems and lately, especially today I've been having thoughts pop into my head about how i'm faking being gay and how I never liked or loved any of the girls I've been with and how every guy who i find attractive I like. I don't know what's going on and it's taking a toll on me so please can someone help me because it's :***:ing annoying. and i feel like i'm going crazy and may breakdown. I hope someone can understand and help me. :bang:
Everyone second guesses their selves sometimes. Generally, it is because being gay is a harder life, I don't care what anyone else says. It can still be a happy and fulfilling life, but it is going to be a little bit harder at certain points. Everyone wants to be absolutely sure of that their is no glimmer of a chance they are straight before starting to come out, date, etc. In your specific situation, you don't fantasize about having any sort of sexual interactions with this guy. A lot of gay guys I'm sure can appreciate how hot a girl is, I know I can. I have seen commercials for that show Desperate Housewives on Bravo Channel and that girl Joanna Krupa is insanely hot, but I would rather "get frisky" with a lot of random guys I see in my every day life than her. It doesn't mean you have to second guess yourself. A lot of people appreciate good looks in both sexes. It is my opinion that emotional attraction is a big as part of someone's sexuality as physical attraction. Who do enjoy connecting with on a deep and emotional level? Whose company do you enjoy? As for your anxiety, I may suggest seeing a therapist just to help you cope with those sorts of things on a day to day occurrence. Best of luck,
as to the emotional question I can only see myself connecting (and I have in the past) with women. I've tried the therapy thing, didn't really help.
