Right. Where to start. OK. Intro: I find I don't really fit into a category but a few things I do know for sure. I love pussy but I love taking it in the ass. I like gay relationships... maybe more than straight ones but I'm not very experienced on that yet. I prefer women overall. So: As a result of all this I haven't been forced into a situation of coming out much. But I've been outed from time to time and what a ballache it's been every time. I've avoided coming out to new people. There's a lot of prejudice and for me it's not worth coming out for sometimes. Straight guys like to joke about it to make themselves feel at ease. It goes into a bit of banter and then I get angry because I know they're using it against me to put me down, especially in front of women. I think these are the guys who aren't secure in their sexuality. The next problem is girlfriends. How do I explain this to a new partner? To be honest I do usually leave it late. However, one girl on the night I met she was fighting over me with her gay friend and I admitted I had a minor gay side to myself (because I feel more straight than gay) from the start. However, 2 years in there was a point where it was clear that I really am gay and that disgusted her. She tried to hide it but she couldn't. Skip onto next relationship. I admit I didn't mention this when I first met her. I left it months in fact before I felt I had to say something. I really thought it wouldn't be a problem, especially considering who she is (I pick very kind ladies). I was shocked on her response. To her it was as if I can't get women so this is my backup plan! And again, disgust. I didn't expect this. So now I'm planning how I might handle this for the next relationship. How do I do this? Do I have to make it obvious? Do I have to tattoo it on my friggin forehead! I've been getting hit on a few times at the beach the last week so I can't be hiding. Hidings no good anyway. As an aside... my first instinct is fight or flight and it doesn't make sense. I've not experienced that from this side of things before when someone approaches you. It really doesn't make sense because this guy at the beach was like a supermodel. After I (pretty much) ran away I thought 'What the hell am I doing??' I then started rationalizing maybe he was a hooker... didn't seem to make much sense. Suddenly from being single for a while I seem to have gone shy. One more thing. It's not a religious thing but for reasons I don't think it's good to go into here I think I don't want to bottom again (even though I love it). I find sex seems to be a destructive thing in the long run and ejaculation draining in the short term. I wonder if by foregoing sex or at least reducing it down I might be able to create a more longterm and deeper relationship. How does one handle that? I hear there are gay guys out there who don't act on it... how the heck does that work? Does this strike chords with anyone? Cheers edit: whoops, forgot to finish updating the topic
Welcome to EC! And, I guess, welcome to bisexuality - where both sides think you're doing it wrong. I'll let others better versed in the ins and outs of bisexuality give you a better breakdown, but as far as telling would-be partners, I guess that would depend. Do you feel the time spent as a couple before you told them was worth the fallout afterwards? Yeah, obviously, the ideal situation is if they simply accept it as part of who you are, but if they're going to freak out about it, would you rather they did it at the start? Or would you rather see if you can "get some relationship" out of it first? As far as sex goes, yeah, it's draining in the short run. Part of the appeal, really, as far as I'm concerned. If it wasn't, when we would we know when to stop? And sex CAN be problematic in a relationship, but it can also be a very positive part of it, too. If you're worried that it's going to be too high a focus on a would-be relationship, you can simply work on a relationship from a different direction. Meet people in less meat-market-y sorts of places, and work on the emotional bonding first. I'm not entirely sure why cutting out bottoming specifically would be the solution, but if you'd rather not, that's your call. Lex
hmm, well, seems no one else is saying "Me too" so it might just be that I've had a bad run of luck. good to know. These have all been serious girlfriends, 2-3 years... which is why it never fails to shock me ---------- Post added 20th Nov 2013 at 07:39 PM ---------- hmm, well, seems no one else is saying "Me too" so it might just be that I've had a bad run of luck. good to know. These have all been serious girlfriends, 2-3 years... which is why it never fails to shock me
