Well, just a little background firstly; I started to have feelings (or at least recognize them) for guys when I was 13. It terrified me, so I pushed them away. When I was 15, I had my first girlfriend. I lasted a couple of months, until I saw her true colors, and she turned on me, so we broke up. I still hadn't told anyone. Finally, last July I knew if I didn't tell someone soon, I was quite literally going to go crazy from all the pressure. So, I told my best friend in the whole wide world that I was Bi, and he was more than accepting, and has always been there for me. However, recently, he has been saying little things that piss me off, one thing in particular. Whenever we talk about my sexuality (not like, we're fascinated by it or anything, but when thinking of how i would tell my parents), and I mention, that I'm Bi, he comes out with "But you're not Bi, you're Gay." Even now, he always says "Gay" instead of Bi, such as "How are you gonna tell them you're Gay?" and it's really starting to annoy me. First, let me state; there is nothing wrong with being Gay. If I turn out to be Gay, I have no problem with it. The thing that is pissing me off is that he is trying to tell me how to identify myself. Yeah, I do tend to like guys more often then girls, and check them out more, I won't deny that. But I know for a fact that I've had legitimate feelings for girls and sometimes still do. I guess what I'm asking for is a way to tell him to cut it out. I mean, I've said that before, and argued saying I am Bi, but he laughs and rolls his eyes, and continues the conversation. It's really starting to hurt that he's telling me how to identify, and really, I just want him to stop. Am I being to sensitive to this? That's what he's also said before :/ He's like "Dude, doesn't matter, it's kinda the same." PS, we never, like EVER get into any fights before, so I'd like a way to avoid causing one of those if possible. Thanks EC (&&&)
Well hello there Here we go again, there always seems to be this stigma against bisexual people that everyone just cannot seem to shake! I really don't blame you for being pissed, you technically have a right to be pissed! I know I would, if I were bi and someone kept telling me who I was :dry: I would say that one way to get him to stop is just to be up front with him. If you guys are really as close as you say you are, he should respect your feelings and not want to hurt them. Just let him know that it is rude how he keeps referring to you as gay when you are really bi, and tell him the difference between the two (since he apparently thinks that they're the same...even though they are totally different haha). Don't do it with mean tone, just be firm with him and be honest! I'm sure that he will understand once you really sit him down and tell him the T (which means tell him the truth). On a side note, don't feel hurt on how people react to the whole bi thing. Most people just don't see how someone could like both genders, but they just need to stop being ignorant! You can like whoever you want, and you own that about you! Don't ever let anyone tear you down, because you deserve more than that! You are fabulous the way you are now, and only you can tell you who you are! Just remember that, and you'll be fine (*hug*) Sorry if this advice isn't all that great, I try my best but I'm not a pro at giving advice :lol:
Hello! Thanks for the response :icon_bigg Your advice was fine, don't worry about it! I think it was basically what I had in mind, but I was so annoyed my thoughts were all over the place, and you basically helped to file them up neatly x) But I think what I'm gonna have to do with him is like you said, be firm and tell him how it's offending me, and then explain how Bisexual is different from being Gay. And thanks for the last little pick me up you put (*hug*) I like EC because of how kind everyone is, and you're a great example (*hug*)
I really don't think that it's "rude" that he's calling you gay. It's not like it's an insult or anything. He seems to be very supportive, an maybe he's just ignoring the fact that you're bi in a teasing kinda way. Do what letzdance said, it's good advice. Now, if you were a depraved bisexual, I'd recommend you seduce his girlfriend, give her the best sex of her life, and then send her to tell him just how gay you are.
Hmmmm. I think next time he says that you're gay, just tell him that gay guys don't like girls. Tell him that you sit in the middle of the camel. When he asks what the hell you are talking about, tell him it's like a split bell curve. You have one hump of people who like girls, one valley of people who like both, and one other hump of people who like guys. Straight women and gay guys on the right, bisexuals in the middle valley, and straight guys and lesbians on the left. It's really not hard to understand. Maybe he'll get it. Maybe he won't. I would say just reiterate your point when it comes up but don't let it bug you. He CAN'T label you, only you can do that.
