Suicide..i need help

Hey, Shrimpz

It will be OK and will work out.

What's going on with you?

 

Guess what, i dare you to keep living. Call child support and abuse if you need help. But keep living, then get a good education, be famous, make lots of money, makes speeches and then diss out that family in front of public -poetic justice. I dare you, maybe ill pay you. Just keep living.

Life is what you want it to be, so be who you want to be.

 

Whoo. I can see why that is freaking you out.
So some deep breaths..

First questions that arise..
Do you have someone good guiding you through the court process?
Are you getting counselling ?

 

You should not hate yourself if some **** has done that to you. You should have been left alone.
The counselling may feel like its not helping - but it is a process and I bet it is helping in ways that are not yet apparent to you. Short term, counselling should help you deal with the period between now and October.

I went to court when I was 16 so I know a bit about how stressed you must be. But if you are super/super-stressed your doctor may also be able to help with something to relax you a bit over the next 2 months.Then after October you will be past it and can look back on it with relief

Above, you say "not capable of being anything good..because i dont have any skills." but you are totally capable of having a full life, and you are only 17 so ages to decide and plan what skills to focus on / things you want to do???

 

well, you are gay, therefore you are a part of probably the most important movement in history!

 

^ you mentioned you were in therapy, it sounds to me like a problem with the meds, seriously you should talk it over with your doctor. (not to sound rude, but they know a bit more than we do)

 

Listen, my kid brother left school with no A-levels and dossed around until his early 20s. He had no clue what career to follow or what purpose in life. Then one day he figured out what he he wanted to do, took the A levels he needed, got in to University and now has a very fulfilling career and life ! So I am saying ... do not let your current frustrations pile up on you. You can at least put those worries to one side for another day ... till October is over and done with?

So if it is crisis management... just prioritise for now. Getting through to October. If the anti-depressants are not working well, see your doctor who must be able to adjust the dose or offer some short term alternatives to help with the stress and anxiety. Its what they're there for...

Hey buddy, as a fellow Londoner, I really think you can make it through what is doubtless a bit overwhelming.. You can always message/ wall me if you want to - now or in the future

(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

I can't imagine why you feel everyone is against you - but because I have been in a similar situation as you - I know that you likely have a very distorted view of things right now due to the depression and stress .. believe me it really can mess up your head that way making things feel far worse and forcing you in to an awful dark mood.

If you are seriously having these sorts of thoughts I would urge you to phone a helpline, or bring these things up with your counsellor if you can wait till your next session. Otherwise do phone a helpline.

Do you also have friend or relative you can trust and open up to / who would support you ?

As I say .. you can message/ wall me

 

No they wouldn't. You are just telling yourself that so that you can do it without guilt. Absolutely no one is meant to die. You can live a full life and eventually meet your end, but nobody's purpose in life is to simply die. Removing yourself is taking something away from someone.

There is nothing wrong with being hurt by what happened to you. You have every right to feel angry and depressed, and maybe even a little bit crazy at times. You've gone through trauma, dude. You need to feel depressed because it still shows that you're alive and human. You need to take that pain and tell your therapist that what's happening isn't working. There is a way to help you, you just need guidance to find it. Us, your therapist, your friends, your family; we are here to guide you. Nobody can end your pain or suffering, but we will help you through it.

Pain isn't something that just disappears. It's something that has to fade as you change. The world isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows one day. It might stay cloudy, but maybe one day you will notice a flower. Then the next day, you will notice the green grass. Then maybe the next day is warmer then you remember. Then maybe the next day you decide to go for a walk. Soon enough, the clouds will roll in again. However, this time you will look at the clouds and know that they are just part of the sun and the grass. The trauma is always going to be a part of you, but it won't always define you. All it takes is time. You need to give yourself time to heal, and you can't do that if you die. If you take your life, you will never get to see that grass, or feel the warmth.

 

Ok, then time to make yourself heard. Counsellors and Doctors have a job to do. They get paid to do it. If you are not getting results from one or other you need to put your foot down in no uncertain terms. Or your mother should intervene.

Seriously, if you are suffering - which you are - they are the people who should be giving you what you need.

If your friends were genuine they'd be there for you. Maybe its just too much for them. Or maybe you have also been isolating yourself from them (due to shame about what happened? Do you think?)

---------- Post added 23rd Aug 2013 at 01:38 AM ----------

And ... Abbra ^^^^ is also quite right !!

 

Im not advising this kind of action, but it is far better to run away than to kill yourself. If you really dont feel you can live any longer, find a close friend or relative and start living. Seriously man, no one here wants you to die, we want to help but you gotta help yourself.

(*hug*) ill be here if you ever need to talk. i really feel bad for you man, no one deserves to live life like that, its awful. I really wish you find a will to live, but there is only so much i can say. if i was there id totally give you a big hug and be a shoulder to cry on for you, if thats anything.

 

i've been there. i know life may seem like shit, and it may feel hopeless. it isn't. so many people care.

the best thing to do is to just talk to somebody. it doesn't even have to be a therapist. just talking about things with somebody who understands is almost always enough to make you feel a bit better. i've found that feelings get more and more extreme when they are repressed. just talking can give you an emotional boost.

things WILL be ok.