Hitting on guys when you're not aware of their sexuality??! Advice/Experiences

Bud...it's nice you want to but I would just say don't. It can just be awkward. Just let it go. But I'll let others say what they want, they probably have better experience lol.

 

I mean, its awkward if they don't like it, but a guy can go hit on a girl or visa versa and if she doesn't like him then its the same kind of awkward.

The only thing about a guy hitting on a guy or a girl hitting on a girl is its still a little weird because it just doesn't happen a lot. I say do it if you want, just be cautious. I've done it before, and nothing bad has happened just its awkward and (for me) have been told no

They always ask me why and I always say "Because life is short and you are hot"

Just my 2c.

 

I've only seen the stereotypical way a straight guy comments on another straight guy's attractiveness by conflating his outward appearance with the ability to attract women. In other words "Man, I'm looking at you and I have to say, the women must be all over you. Got a girlfriend?". I admit, this is pretty silly, especially when they add "No homo" somewhere in that sentence, but I've seen it happen anyway. "Bro Talk" I hear it's called.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

 

You can phrase it simply as: do you date guys? Focusing on the action of dating guys rather than on his identity as straight or gay, which is far touchier...

worth a try, he may even be flattered...

 

Honestly the second you started talking about reboudning and what not I just blanked, I am that good at sports LOL

I think if you do say it to him, say it just casually, like if he's lifting weights you can be something along the likes of:

"Wow that is a lot of weight to lift, sure looks like it's working"

(That is why I will never be a writer) But you know what I am saying, you can say it generally and he won't get offended, but make sure it sounds more spontaneous of you, and pair it with something else, that way you don't end up blurting out "You're hot" randomly, because that is harder to explain, good luck!

 

Wait out the eye contact to see if it occurs.

If it's not reciprocated or you don't get a good vibe, don't pursue it. You should really be conversant before you get to the phase of complimenting.

Most gay and bi guys have no trouble complimenting or receiving compliments from other guys, unless they're selfish a-holes. Among straights, compliments generally come from friends on a good haircut you just got, and from complete strangers when you're sitting at the outlets and a guy says something like "Good taste, that's a nice tie, but you got to it before I did" as his wife or g.f. is standing next to him.

With me, I've gotten caught with my hand in the cookie jar by looking too long. One of my friends said that I periodically have done this together with getting more jittery in someone's presence. That combination tells someone very easily what I was thinking - that they were good looking. Whether they took it as a compliment was probably varied. Fortunately, it hasn't happened often. The last time it happened is when a guy in his early 40s, about 10 years older than me at the time, had a morning commute path that was the opposite of mine, so I'd always run into him. He had a wedding band that came and went. Definitely someone's husband and father. It was hard NOT to want to look at a dude like this, but without the cleft on the chin:

http://thesuitsofjamesbond.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/George-Lazenby.jpg

 

Wow, I can totally relate to this, been there myself and its so frustrating!!! Wish I had some advice for you but am afraid I'm as lost as you.

 

OP, that sounds so bloody hot. Just my kind of guy, and especially because I'm familiar with the basketball move and it's basically a functional application of grinding on somebody XD.

Without ironclad proof though, you're better off keeping quiet. Your casual basketball friend might be creeped out and vanish in an instant. Homophobia ingrained in society -.-

 

Well if you hit on him and he's upset, you've ruled out the "interested in me" category. Hey you never know unless you try. Nothing to lose. xD

 

The story is so cute! Please update along the way.

 

I have only hit on a guy I wasn't sure was gay once. I used to live in a hotel. And all the residents would open our doors on the weekends so that people could pop in and visit (closed door ment you wanted to be left alone or you weren't home). I had my door open and this guy I'd seen around for about a week popped his head in. I invited him in for a beer this dude wasn't my typical type but most guy would find him cute (I'm more into bears but this dude was about 5' 10 175 blond hair and had kind of a baby face). For some reason I absolutely could not keep my eyes off of him! I knew he caught me looking. He was so cute I had to say something, besides I was afraid I was going to make him uncomfortable if I kept stareing anyway, so I just point blank asked the dude something to the effect of 'You ever been with a guy?". That seemed to catch him off guard but after a few seconds I got a reply like 'No, but I've been curious" we talked a few more minutes and I noticed dude kept looking out the door like he

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didn't want anyone to hear our conversation. I offered to close the door and a few more hours of conversation and a several beers later that turned into a great night.

To this day I'm glad it turned out because I honestly don't know what I would have said/felt if it didn't. And no I have never done anything like that again!

Though we never messed around again we hung out all the time til dudes job ended and they transferred him somewhere else a couple months later (he worked on a highway crew).

 

aloha, Pat

Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Why not invite him to another game of basketball. He may give you some signals that make his interest and intentions perfectly clear. If he doesn't, well that's an anwer too, although not the one you'd prefer.

Just make sure you have free time blocked out after the game.

Good luck,
Milan