so ive been seeing a therapist for 3 months, at first it started ok but now im having doubts if its making any difference at all, i told her since day one im trans and since then all this time its like if i have to prove her that im trans, she keeps asking why i dont dress in female clothes already, which i already said its because i think i would look like :***: and im not confident to try it yet, but my hair is really feminine, i paint my nails, i wax my body hair and i am doing beard laser removal for 3 months, but im not ready yet because i dont want to be happy dressing how i want to but when i take a look at the mirror i see something :***: ugly and obviously male, i even removed the mirror i had in my bedroom because i cant stand it. also i would have to hide the clothes somewhere in my home because my mom is not taking it as well as she said she would (she is ignoring the whole thing and thinks im just making it up). the therapyst also keeps asking how i know, or that all it looks like is that i enjoy being treated as a girl but nothing else which is really starting to make me lose my patience, what i think what we really should be doing is try to talk about how this has affected my life and personality since i was 12, i really have no dreams for the future, have no sexual interest on anyone because i dont like what i am, dont care much about anything, although i have friends im starting to get more and more isolated and im becoming more of a robot while interacting with anyone. i had a session with a psychiatrist and in 20 minutes it just went better than the whole 3 months, he just asked simple questions, i answered, he said there is no other disorders with me and it really looks like im trans and thats :***: it, he said he is not an expert on it and would try to recommend me another psychiatrist who deals with gender dysphoria, but he would already tell him im trans and in a depressed state to hurry things along, felt really good (that was wednesday, but just thinking about the next session with the therapyst just makes me angry again). going back to the therapyst, she doesnt remember some things i said in previous sessions, doesnt know much about transexuality, in fact it kinda feels like i know more about it than her, and if i didnt need the prescription i doubt i would continue, honestly it just feels like we are getting nowhere, is this how its supposed to be? what should i do? im starting to get more and more depressed and it just gets very annoying that every session i have to try to prove im trans EVERY TIME. I AM, I KNOW IT, IM NOT ASHAMED, I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN ANYONE, LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE YOU :***:
Hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I actually have not been able to see a therapist or psychiatrist yet, that's my next step. I, like you, know myself better than anyone and know that I am indeed a trans woman inside. In all honesty, it just sounds like you need a new therapist... preferably someone who will understand and not have a short-term memory about you.
Hi. First, (*hug*) I don't often say this but... your therapist is incompetent and if what you're saying is an accurate reflection, the quality of the therapy you are receiving is so below the standards of the profession that she should probably be reported to the licensing board. No therapist should EVER pressure a client to do something, make accusatory statements that the client is not doing something correctly (such as transitioning) and, in the US at least, if the therapist does not have expertise in the primary presenting issue (in this case, gender dysphoria), it is not ethical for him or her to be treating you at all. You need another therapist. Perhaps your psychiatrist can help you find one who is more qualified.
hey there, thank you, im sorry if i get carried away, but this is the second time people say im not "girly" enough, first it was the first visit at the endocrinologist and it was so painful i dont even want to remember it again, she told me to come back in 6 months with a GID diagnosis from a psychologist (the therapist im seeing is a psychologist, i dont know if they sort of mean the same thing in english) and a psychiatrist like if i didnt knew what i was talking about, it was so painful that it made me cry a lot the problem is that there is not much experts in transgender issues on my country, not that i know of at least, and if there is, its probably in the bigger cities like rio or são paulo so i just had to go for a generic sexuality therapist she said she had 4 intersex patients a few decades ago (all from the same poor countryside family, they all had birth defects, in the end they had surgery and they chose the gender they wanted), i think this is all the experience she has with gender issues, and i dont know if she does any kind of research on the subject between sessions i know she does not do it to be mean or anything, i guess she is just not doing what she should be doing, she is polite and she does try to help me but it just looks like she doesnt know how she also says its weird that i dont have any trans woman friends, uhh...well i dont have any (that i know in person) because i just make friends naturally, i dont go around searching for specific people to befriend, it just happens, im a very likable person and i can be very sociable when im in the right mood and not having any dysphoria i mean the last thing she asked of me was to make a photoshop montage with my face in a woman's body and that just felt weird and wrong, and i already showed a lot of pictures of things i like, like makeup, hairstyles, jewelry, dresses, clothing, nails, brows, well, everything really, and it shouldnt even matter because thats not what makes someone a woman, this is really annoying, what should i do? i think i should talk to her about this because its driving me insane! its like thinking im not a girl because im not "girly" enough but i know i am, its very painful when this though comes to my mind
She may mean well, but it ls very possibly a cultural issue. Even another therapist who didn't have gender dysphoria experience would be a huge improvement over this one. She probably doesn't even realize it, but her own discomfort with the issue is affecting her ability to help you.
What Chip says. This woman is definitely not the right person for you to be seeing. There are sites (in the US at least, I don't know about Brasil) where you can find therapists by specialty, and medical magazines/profiles also sometimes make lists in the same sort of way. I hope this helps!
