I've already posted many threads here asking for help with my sexual orientation. I haven't really received the help here that I need. A lot of the advice I get here and around the web is generic stuff like "don't label yourself". The problem I have with this advice is that I go crazy when I don't know who I am. A lot of people say that you are more than you sexuality. I don't really have an identity so that can cause a lot of problems. I want to find some help somewhere else. I want to address my identity issues. I have anxiety and depression and I'm also pretty obsessive. I don't have any friends and that makes me depressed. I also don't know which group I fit into. I've tried hanging out with the LGBT kids at school, but we didn't really have anything to talk about. I don't really have any hobbies besides music. No one in my area has my taste in music. I have a counsellor I discuss this with as well, she doesn't specialize in LGBT issues so she isn't much help. I want to know where I can get more specialized help. No one here is really helping.
EC can't give you exact answers because 1. That'd be a bit presumptuous and 2. Who's to say we're right? More specialized help could be attained if you researched about LGBT friendly therapists, or if you talked to people who know what you're going through. One other option that may be easier for now would be talking to others on this site more one-on-one, whether that's another member (Wall messaging) or a member of staff (You can always Private Message staff members). Have you tried getting into contact with a staff member on here? It could be something to consider. Finding yourself is tough, especially in your teen years. You're constantly experimenting and seeing what works and fits, and what doesn't, whether you realize it or not. With this time comes a lot of confusion and stress, but also a lot of growth. There's no real clear cut answer to helping you discover who you are — lots of it is about figuring it out yourself. For now, you might just have to set aside some of the questioning and just venture out in life as yourself, whoever you are. It takes time to figure these things out. With that said, in the meanwhile we're here to listen and to give you tips and feedback, and you have our support. As for friends, you can always try to strike up conversations with others in class or during break. Easy topics include music, teachers, media, and homework. If you haven't already, joining a school club could also be helpful. It can be hard, and it may not be super smooth — but that's okay. Many times, people judge us much less harshly than we think. Part of it can be about not caring about what others think, to an extent.
you are what you do. label yourself based on experience. if you havent had any experience to draw from, go out and try things. - you dont become a person by sitting down and planning it out, you are simply the sum of your actions and feelings.
Where can I get "experience"? My school has a GSA, but I've had trouble chatting with those people. I haven't found any possible dates in the GSA. There was this one butch girl who liked me, but she was fourteen(my little sister's age) and I feel creepy about dating fourteen year olds. I don't really have the courage to approach anyone. I don't really know who I am, so it's pretty hard to "just be me."
If you want to gain experience you're going to have to really put yourself out there to meet new people. It's really hard for me to meet new people, however in order to do so, you really have to step out of your comfort zone. I know how scary it can be, but if you want it bad enough then you have to give it a go. And give yourself time to figure things out because you're not going to find all of the answers overnight. Figuring out your sexuality is easier for some people, but more difficult for others. And that's okay because you want to be sure about your feelings before dating someone and leading them on. I've done it once, ran back into the closet and I regret hurting the other person. Fear and uncertainty can drive us away from the truth, so please do not be afraid of your feelings. You should embrace them and learn to be confident with who you are. All you have to do is be yourself and everything else will fall into place. Sometimes, its easier to fake it until you make it, it works for me.
Don't "be you" ... Think " do I want to do this? " or "what do I want to do today" Then do it If you don't know what you want to do.. Just do SOMETHING, and then figure out after if you liked it. If you don't know which way you swing, try both. You will have to be patient... If there are no girls around you want to date, does it matter whether you're interested in girls? You can't label yourself any more effectively an hour from now than you can right now or could this morning, until you know more - or something changes I know its frustrating.. but try not to let it bother you
