People referring to significant other as "Friend"

If it were me, I would speak up and say something. The fact that they're referring to your spouse as your 'friend' suggests to me that they don't view your marriage as being equal to theirs, and that's just not acceptable! Of course there's also the possibility that they think they're being cute or coy by using that wording. I notice that your "Out Status" says "Some people" despite the fact that you're married, so perhaps they think that they're helping you keep your secret by using discreet language?

Either way it's something I'd address because like you said, it's like they think you're a couple of twelve year olds playing house or something and that's not okay - even if it's not the sentiment they're trying to convey.

 

You don't have to be overly confrontational. If someone asks "How is your friend?", you can just respond "My husband? He's great." That gets the point across pretty simply, I think.

Lex

 

Sometimes people try to be respectful and then just end up coming across like complete hamballs. It could be they are unsure of how to say things (it sounds silly) knowing how different people can be about their private lives.

Next time they ask, just reply casually as if they had actually used the word "husband" in tone and use the word "husband" yourself. It's an invitation for them to use the same terminology and they can understand you are okay with then saying the same.

If they still don't get it, ask them gently why they keep saying "friend" in reference to your spouse. It's quite possible that with all their trying to be supportive and gay-friendly, etc they're just being too awkward.

Like they're at a school dance

 

oooh that grinds me gears, i feel you.

as everyone has said you could just say my husband is fine thanks, if they keep on maybe ask them why they keep saying it?

 

Don't be confrontational I'm sure they aren't trying to piss you off. If you want this to change in a polite way, then bring it up in a subtle manner, every single time they ask "how's your friend?" reply with "who? my husband?" and wait for a response, then say how he's doing.

If you answer the "how's your friend?" question they'll assume you know who they're talking about, so will keep using it. If you do as I said above, they'll subconsciously realise that you don't know who "friend" is and they'll start asking how your husband is.

I really don't think you should tell them it's annoying you, because you'll probably come off a bit obnoxious, they're being very polite asking how your husband is, I don't know anyone who'd ask how my other half is, so the last thing you want to do is say anything that could be taken rudely.