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Starting therapy.. not so sure about it anymore.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by suninthesky, Sep 4, 2013.

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  1. suninthesky

    suninthesky
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    I've been pretty down the last.. years. And in the midst of coming out to everyone and trying to deal with the next 3 years of waiting before medically transitioning I thought it would be a good idea to try to go to therapy.

    I went to do the intake forms and all today and I'm going to a grad student in training. Her thesis is solely about LGBT people. She knows I'm transgender and she still ma'amed me, referred to me as a sister when talking about my siblings, and consistently used her/she even after I corrected her.

    I really don't even know what therapy could possibly do for me. I'm already going to a youth LGBT group and a trans-specific group. My friends/family and others are mostly supportive even though they are finding pronouns a struggle.

    I never have been able to verbalize my thoughts very well and it feels like I'm just going to go in there and make a fool out of myself not even knowing how to talk about things. Also I can't stop being nervous about the suicidal ideation thing. I feel like I keep having to censor myself and decline to answer questions because I'm afraid that she'll think it's over the line and have to tell someone.

    She also wants me to come every week, which, I dunno. Seems like a lot. It seems like I should be able to handle life without that. I wish I were more optimistic, but I just have a bad feeling that it's gonna be a waste of both of our times.
     
    #1 suninthesky, Sep 4, 2013
  2. Gravity

    Gravity
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    Well, on the one hand, it's good to try to be patient with a new therapist - they're still getting to know you as much as you're getting to know them, and the bond that will help you do more detailed work hasn't been formed yet.

    On the other hand, her insistence on gender pronouns/terms that you're not comfortable with, despite you having brought it up, is pretty strange, as well as her insisting that you meet more than you're ready for (though this to a lesser extent).

    Have you tried any other counselors? Whether other grad students or full counselors? There's nothing wrong with "shopping around" when you first start to make sure you're getting the right fit. Discomfort up front is one thing, but it sounds like you're already experiencing some frustration with this particular counselor.
     
    #2 Gravity, Sep 4, 2013
  3. Chip

    Chip
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    This therapist doesn't sound like a good match for you. I would say that if she cannot identify and speak to you using your preferred gender pronouns, there's something going on with her, consciously or unconsciously, that's going to get in the way of good therapy between the two of you.

    It's not uncommon, particularly with student intern therapists, for the connection to not work with the first one. The program should be equipped to let you try working with someone else, but you might want to give it one more try and make it clear at the second session that if she can't show you the respect you need, you will have to find someone else.
     
    #3 Chip, Sep 5, 2013
  4. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    What chip said. If you're being made uncomfortable by the way she addresses and refers to you, how can you be expected to talk to her about anything!
     
    #4 BookDragon, Sep 5, 2013
  5. suninthesky

    suninthesky
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    Thanks for the advice. I ended up calling the center and canceling. I'm just not in a good enough mental place to try to educate someone if you get what I mean. But I'm getting support at a couple groups so that might be my better option. Thanks again
     
    #5 suninthesky, Sep 6, 2013
  6. Ohhai

    Ohhai
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    You definitely need to find another one.
     
    #6 Ohhai, Sep 6, 2013
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