I'm so angry at the world right now... I'm angry that it's so ridiculously hard to meet other gay people, and that all my friends like to do is go out to the bar, which I can't because I'm under 21 by one year. I was worrying that this was gonna happen, but that nightmare is now a reality. I'm angry that I'm so lonely right now, and I've tried to find ways out of that but I haven't been successful yet. I just hate the world so much. It seems like everyone is having a better time than me, and that they're all better at life than I am, and I feel jealous of them. I also get angry when the wrong people try to forge their way into my life for drama reasons, I'm really disgusted at their existence. I feel so ugly on the inside, and I'm trying to find ways to make myself feel better, but this is the loneliest I've ever been, and it's really overwhelming. I'm even starting to hate myself a little bit, it's just so frustrating... I felt lonely at home over the summer, and I was all excited to come back to school and have a life again, but now I feel even lonelier than before. How silly of me.
Chill, dude. Life's a little slow when you're the youngest of your friends. As soon as you're of age, it'll pick up and you won't even remember why you were upset. As a matter of fact, you're gonna be pulled in so many directions as far as who you're going to hang out with and on what day of which week that you're probably going to make a new post about how you can't keep up. Life moves fast. Enjoy your youth. I sure to miss being your age. I'm not that much older, but it goes to show how different life will be in seven years time. Find some thing to occupy you. Enjoy time with yourself.
Well, I know that this won't be forever, but the thing is I lived abroad during my entire sophomore year, and I had every right to go out with my friends, and we went out all the time. The friends I made over there also accepted me much easier than the friends I came back to here in the US, so compared to all the things I had going for me this past year, life is absolute shit right now. I'm just always hyper-aware of what I'm missing out on because I've already experienced what I'm missing out on right now. ---------- Post added 5th Sep 2013 at 05:13 PM ---------- And it's not like I haven't been taking life seriously, I did an excellent job in school even when I was going out every week, and I even held down an internship while I was abroad. People are always telling me "well you've had your fun but now you need to focus on school". I've been focusing on school this whole damn time, and I've been working my ass off. Give me a break.
