Trying to see the good in life/mankind - not easy

EC is a support and advice forum first and foremost. People come here specifically because they need support and advice. And the more issues they have with the coming-out and being-queer process, the more likely (and often) they're going to post. We're not going to see much in the way of "my friends are still cool with everything" or "my parents are still supportive" posts. It's a bit like spending a lot of time in a doctor's office - you may start getting the idea that humans are perpetually unwell, simply because that's all you're seeing.

But even here, there are plenty of positive coming-out stories. And even people who need advice sometimes start their posts with "everybody was cool with my coming-out except this one person..."

Can people be cruel? You bet. But I'm far more apt to see the kindness. We just tend to focus on the negativity more than we perhaps should.

Lex

 

I've had some surprisingly good experiences that I've shared on EC. But there are people here who are going through experiences that range from difficult to downright hellish, and I sometimes worry that posting something positive may be seen as over-optimistic, or even bragging. I wouldn't ever want to be seen as trivializing the struggles of others by pointing out that I've had it pretty easy, all things considered.

But I guess there is something to be said for sharing positive experiences. Perhaps we need to think about the times we've been fearful or felt hopeless, and remember that sympathy is nice, but empathy is better, and seeing that the outcome CAN be positive, even when you don't expect it to be, can be even better yet. We need to remind each other of all the NON-jerks that we come across, too.

 

Personally, I always try to remind myself of the big picture.
Because it's easy to get wrapped up in the details of bad news stories. And to lament that it isn't a perfect world and there's some truly horrible people in there.

But let's also not forget that while the basket has a lot of rotten apples, there's less than there were before. Even just a few years ago, no country in the world allowed gay people to marry. This year, there's more countries allowing gay marriage than there ever were in the history of the world!

While there's still crime and abuse, most numbers point to an actual decrease, globally of violence. At this point in time, your odds of meeting violence are less than they were at any point in time.

While on the face of it, it sounds bad that obesity is a bigger problem than starvation, it also points to the fact that we can fight poverty and hunger.

We're not there yet. There's much to be done. But on many counts, things ARE improving. Someday, people will look at history and see that the A-holes were steadily losing.
And you and me and all of us on here are actually helping to make that happen. One supportive post at a time.

And yes, each of us is but a single drop in a limitless ocean, but what else is an ocean but a multitude of drops?

 

For me this forum makes me feel less of an outcast when I see so many people having the same problems and difficulties as I do, it makes me feel less alone. I don't know what I'd do without EC, it has greatly boosted my self esteem.