Time to move on from current therapist?

Hey friends,

I know this is long, but I obviously don't have any one else to ask about this.

So I have been seeing a therapist for almost a year now, and I am questioning whether she is the right fit for me and some of her professional practices in my eyes have been very questionable.

I had been going to see her for a couple months when my mom's insurance plan changed from Cigna to BCBS. With BCBS, I wasn't covered for mental health services so we made an arrangement for me to pay $35.00 out of pocket. Let me first say, this was awesome of her. I couldn't thank her enough.

So flash forward to around March/April and there was a time period where I think she must have cancelled around five/six weeks straight of appointments for various reasons, probably more. She has probably cancelled (sometimes rescheduled) another 10 appointments because she was "sick." I say quotes because she would confirm our appointment, then a couple hours later say "I'm still sick." So she had probably been sick 15 times or more in the past year. Suffice to say, she has cancelled on me probably more than 20 times, sometimes we reschedule for later in the week most of the time we don't.

So this past Tuesday I went to see her and she said she was in a bad relationship that is now over and part of her cancellations were because of this (great your therapist has personal problems she can't control). She then went into this rant about my fee. Now I am a law student, and while I work, I have very little spare income. She goes on how I probably need to be self-insured and how "it isn't really in my best interest to see you at $35 per hour when I usually charge $120 but I mean I'm happy to do it." She has probably made a point to "remind" me what a kind person she is by letting me use this low fee or dozen or so times (because making $35 per hour and your in the poor house). I felt pretty offended after this time, she was going on and on how I need my own insurance like I wasn't worth your time. Let me also say that RARELY (if ever) does she actually see me for a full hour. Last week, it was probably no more than a half hour until she says alright I have another client to see when I was in the middle of discussing and upset at the topic at hand, but of course charges me the full fee.

I get it that this is her profession and she is doing it to make money, but behavior like this is in my eyes very unprofessional. If she was charging all of her clients $35 an hour that is over 70,000 a year. It really makes me question the profession that a lot of these people need to charge you $100+ per hour. There are a lot of people that can afford this, but some who can't. Is it really that difficult to charge some people less than that? You assume these people got in to a profession like this to help people, she makes it seem to me like it is all about the money for her.

I could talk more about her therapy style if that would be deemed relevant. It seems to daunting to start over and explain everything to someone new, and it isn't like I need to see her on a weekly basis anyway. I have (before seeing her) checked out different sliding scale offers in my city, but most were not accepting new patients or had a long wait period.

Any advice?

 

Hey Chip,

Thanks for your response!

I guess you are right on a lot of points. First, I was in a VERY vulnerable state when I reached out to her. Needless to say, I had never gone to a therapist before so I was unsure of the process and was obviously very insecure.

I think the fee mentions and the cancellations and the short changing of time has kind of made me feel inferior in the sense that I feel "my issues are not worth your time." I mean, what the F, I know this is not how this relationship should work.

So how do I go about making this change? Our communication outside her office is via text. How do I terminate the relationship? Do I just text her? What do I say?

I absolutely hate confrontation, so probably why I was continuing to see her.

 

Also she is located in Illinois, where I go to school.

In addition, say I cancel our relationship. Can she in any way go after me for extra "billings"? I have never not paid her for a session, but when I was using BCBS for a time I'm not sure those sessions were ever reimbursed to her. I stopped using BCBS in March of this past year and since then, she has not me mentioned to me I owe any money for that. I don't want to get some sort of bill for a lot of money...

 

Ok so I typed up what I think is a very professional, yet thorough letter which iterates what my issues are with not continuing to see her anymore.

Is there anyway that I can get you to check it out? Should I just post in on here?

 

yeah I didn't think of that, i'll send it over shortly.

thanks for all of your help.