So I am gay, and the worst thing is the fact that I will never have kids of my own, I will never give my parents kids either. Being gay hurts sometimes
I struggled with this perception for a while as well. Until I pulled my head out of my back end and talked to my dear aunt. I've always known that her two children are adopted but never put much thought into it. And then we talked. She told me about the years of struggles, of HATING every woman she saw passing by with a child because she had something going on biologically that kept her from having kids. It made me realize that her children, my cousins are every bit as much my family as anyone else and I would give my life to protect them, like anyone else in my family. That was enough for me.
Yeah, what Sardonic said My best friend went through something like his aunt before she and her husband adopted their son. He's a great kid and the whole family loves him to death. They also did an open adoption so he also knows his birth mother and her family and sees them from time to time. Anyway, the point is that adopted kids are just as much your family as any kid sharing a genetic link with you. They will love you and you will love them. And that's all that matters. Todd
Why couldn't you have kids? It's actually easy now, not like it was. You only need a carrier. A good female friend, or a good lesbian friend, a surrogate, etc. You could also adopt. Many, many ways to build a family. I know a gay couple who had their sister carry for them. They all raise him. I also know a lesbian couple who wanted kids and their gay freind wanted kids so they used his sperm and they have 2 kids between the three of them. The man is partnered now, so the kid has two moms and two dads. Being gay is no reason to not have children. That is one thing you don't have to come to terms with.
One of my strongest wishes is to be a father. I was never bothered much bout kids before but my best mate had her 1st kid yrs ago, has had another 2 since, & i guess u could say its made me broody! Dunno if that wish will ever be granted, but hey, a guy can dream..
I really want to have kids as well, and I understand that adopting or other means is becoming more prevalent. However, I think (as of right now) that it is so hard to grow up sometimes that I might not want to put a child through the problems/issues/ridicule of having two same-sex parents just seems like a selfish thing to do, in a way. Like I don't want to be embarrassed and feel bad for my child all the time because they are gonna have a harder time growing up because of me.
^That's always a concern but you really think the kid is better off rotating thru foster homes or on the streets or god knows where? The only reason, well 2 reasons, that gay adoption is even legal is because: it doesn't turn the kid gay, and study after study has shown they're better off with 2 parents, regardless of gender. So there's nothing selfish about it. As far as ridicule itself, you're in CA...There are tens of thousands of kids raised by gay couples in your state. Kids are actually very tolerant, until they're taught not to be.
Firstly, your parents already had their own kid(s), and you don't owe them grandkids. Life is too short to allow guilt to rule you. Secondly, like others have said, there's plenty of options when it comes to glbt folks having kids. I personally am a fan of adoption, since there are so many children out there waiting for parents that I would find it almost selfish to go to such great lengths like surrogacy, etc., just so I can have a child with either my or my partner's DNA. If you ask most parents, I'm sure they would say their joy from their children comes from raising them and watching them grow, not from the knowledge that they've passed on their genetic material.
