Reparative Therapy, bad decision?

I have heard these therapies are highly damaging to one's mental health, and that they cannot rid you of your sexuality; it is too deeply ingrained into your biology. At best I've heard these therapies merely traumatize you into the suppression of sexual thoughts, but you'll remain a homosexual

How I wish I -- being a gay christian also -- could console you, but I can only do to the extent of what the internet allows. Pray to God about it a take mind that he does not desire that any of his servants should suffer, but so is the way of the world. My sole companion and true friend with whom I could convey anything has been God, and I believe he is leading me in the right direction, in which I am openly gay and proud of my unique perspective.

This is your decision, just remember: you were born to love and serve God, not the church, not your family; all those can be loved after the first.

 

Yes, I'll give you some encouraging words, and I don't know if it's what you want to hear. Saying Christian often implies Christian other than Catholic. About this topic, a Catholic priest once said "God made you the way you're supposed to be."

Is your university a religious or conservative one? Is this a course where if you backed out, you would catch grief from those in the group because you'd be seeing them around? Or is it somewhere in the community or the city where you would just disappear back into your world as it existed and exists?

I don't know all the variables. Neither do the others here. If you feel you need to do this, then you should also have the resolve to walk out if it's not working for you. Why is same sex intimacy so upsetting to those around you? It's basically skin rubbing against skin, as far as acting on it goes. I don't see what the big deal is, and neither do a lot of Christians across numerous sects. I don't believe the success and satisfaction rate with reparative therapy is that good. That's why they're beginning to legislate against it for minors.

 

I'm the same. From what I know of these therapies they actually do more harm than good. There are many many ex-gay ministers who once spruiked that reparative therapy is the best and only way to 'cure' you from the curse of being gay are now coming out and saying that is causes only harm and absolutely no good.

Reparative therapy is like drowning who you are effectively, by denying who you are. Repress it long enough and you will either explode to the surface for fresh air (Come out for the true person you are), or just drown (In self hatred and self loathing...generally by suicide).

So no, it isn't a bad decision...it is a bloody terrible decision...a life and death decision.

 

I'm so terribly sorry that you are being put into such an unfair position (*hug*)

Like everyone else said, sexual orientation change efforts have been showed to not work and they can do A LOT of damage. I personally know one person who went through it for years since he was little, and to this date he is very much gay still and he still experiences pain every single time he touches a guy due to the electroshock that he was administered when he was young.

If you want some more legitimate sources I'll link you to some just so you can read them if you would like.

Here is the conclusion that the American Psychological Association came to after reviewing many studies about the subject: Resolution on Appropriate Affirmative Responses to Sexual Orientation Distress and Change Efforts

Also, one of the largest reparative therapy groups recently shut down and apologized for all the harm that they have been doing for the past years. MANY of the previous people in charge of the organization have also come out saying that the whole thing is a lie and that they are sorry for hurting to many people.

Here is a video of the reaction of ex-gay survivors to the apology of the guy:
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Here is a video of first-hand experiences of people who have gone through therapy before:
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Here is the whole interview:
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I am sorry though. I know that if you are even considering this it means that you have to be under some serious pain and pressure. I'm sorry that there isn't an easy answer for you. All I can tell you is that you are not broke, you are deserving of love, and it is possible to be fully happy while being a gay man. Its just painful while we figure out just how to do that, but its worth it (*hug*)

 

Reparative "Therapy" only tries to control a behaviour not your sexuality. There is evidence now that homosexuals like us have different neurological pathways in our brains.

All these programmes do is teach you to hate who you are, how you are wrong they are right to the point where you will act straight because you are scared to be your real self.

In the risk of getting modded, I want to mention that in the past these programmes practically tortured gay people, one trick was to do something called aversion therapy. They would show you some gay porn and then shock your genitals to try and train you that erotic gay stuff is wrong. These are what these people are like, they are not good people, they are not being Christian

Please go on Home - Beyond Ex-Gay and see what it has done to people, this site is part run by one of the founders of what was the largest provider or reparative therapy. He is gay and once he got out he married his boyfriend.

I used to be a Catholic, I became one at 10 after my parents sent me to a Catholic school I remember realising that I am gay and freaking out, one of the staff tried to find out whats wrong, after blurting out he said there is nothing wrong with who I am, he then proceeded to send me to the nurse / councillor who put me in touch with a LGBT teen group, not all Christians are like the ones you know.

 

I was in one for 4 years and it didn't help me. They just want to make money from you. Atleast some of them. Others are sincere but in terms of people who actually are able to change their orientation there are no success stories. The only sucess stories are from bisexuals who can make a choice.

 

Thanks for sharing. I have no personal experience with this, but know of 2 people who have gone through it - one has not changed and the other met the "rescuing spouse" (in a thread I started). I know of 1 practitioner, a psychiatrist, who is a kind man, but is motivated by his religion, and his practice not only concerns reparative therapy, but also helping married couples with intimacy problems. The comment about bisexuals has some validity. Some make a choice and enter monogamous relationships as life progresses. Some can't make up their minds, and I don't mean that in a disparaging way, because they really like sex with both genders, even though they might lean toward one gender more than the other. I totally agree that it makes money for these people, and takes it away from the patients or clients. Also, a person would, deep down, know very quickly if it's going anywhere and, if not, should push the eject button quickly as well.

 

Try it is what I would say...I wish I had the choice to try it....cause frankly being gay is not making me happy...whatever the cause is..and I tried gay affirmative therapy..they throw pills at you...and they take money as well.

Sin or no sin..it sucks to be an outsider..and to be a freak to most people..wither they are wrong or not is besides the point to me.

However I think most of them say the end result is like an alcoholic quitting alcohol..your always going to think about how alcohol makes things wonderful and feels good..but you will know what it means to be sober.

That's how they see it...people commit suicide over addictions and being poor and having terminal illnesses as well..it doesn't meant that their problems isn't supposed to be fixed and that they are supposed to accept their...fate either.

Anyways..no matter what the truth is..just be prepared if you are gonna try it is that they are going to criticize a lot of things about you and your masculinity..which is for a man (for me frankly) quiet difficult to hear.

I personally resolved my problem by saying I am gay..due to my disturbed upbringing..and that I am not perfect..and its a cross to bear kinda thing...everyone has their own resolution I guess. (I can not access this kind of treatment in Canada where I live..I would have tried it at least).

Plus be careful of wacko types that want to hallelujah it out of you. I am not a fan of that personally.

 

I'm not a fan of religion at all, especially for these reasons of shaming and stigmatizing people, but I sympathize that you can't just throw it away so quickly. So from a religious standpoint, there are sins, everyone sins. There's no reason that gay acts are worse than other sins. Of your options, this is by far the best view to take. You can't control being gay. Trying to fight it will just lead to misery.

If it was possible, you would routinely hear about 'success stories.' Instead, that group exodus international just shut down and apologized, states are banning this 'therapy,' and an 'ex gay' rally in DC only 5 people showed up. This isn't like quitting smoking or even religion, which is hard but possible. Changing your sexuality is *impossible.* That's the whole reason gay pride exists. I'm glad you put it as regressing. That tells me you kind of know you'd be a lot happier just being yourself.

 

I joined the People Can Change Email Group back in 2009. Rich Wyler is the founder and he organizes these Journey Into Manhood Weekends and what not. I've never been to one as I live too far away to attend. If you look at their testimonial page it is rather pathetic.