i can't stand being all feminine anymore!

If you're a guy, you're a guy. If you're a girl, you're a girl. If you're in-between, neither or all at once, then that's that and I'm eating cheerios (I really am).

Don't worry about how you "should" act. Act naturally, be you, and the rest will come. If people hate you, they hate you. If they speak out their hatred, then that says more about them than it does you.

 

You only hate things about yourself because of your perception of how everybody else feels about those things. If you were the only person in this world, you wouldn't hate those things. You wouldn't even know you were different.

Get in where you fit in. You're still young. Once you get a little older and get out a little more, you'll find your crowd of people just like you.

You need some confidence though. Pick up some skills and do some things well and it'll take your mind away from you while also heightening your confidence.

 

Along with the excellent advice about just being yourself and accepting yourself, you could also look into martial arts. Orientation and mannerisms have nothing to do with your ability to learn and apply the relevant techniques. And, speaking from experience, being able to look at even a really big guy and know just what combo of moves it would take to maim or kill him does interesting things to your perception and confidence.

You'd probably want to do some research to find a style and club/school/instructor that appeals to you.

Just a thought,

Todd

 

(*hug*)

Being feminine as a male in our society at the moment is easily of the most scrutinized social categories to full under. You're never going to be happy if you waste away your life trying to convince all of the seven billion people on this Earth to approve of you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

And I can guarantee that there is a child being born at this very moment, who will go through the same obstacles you are facing now. We say to be yourself for yourself, but that isn't the full reason for which we are obligated. Its important to be yourself to make a statement that there is no reason why you should be anything otherwise. We are not going to make things better for the rest of those who are and will go against societies standard on gender if we continue to fall weakness to conformity.

Tyler Oakley is 5'5" and 165 pounds from what I just googled, which makes us the same height and me nearly twenty pounds lighter. The hell we are defense-less, we just have to be more resourceful. Height and muscle is overrated. Those are not going to protect my attackers when I cut them with my knifes or strangle them with my scarfs. They can keep their scales and measuring tapes, but you can't weigh crazy! ^_^

 

Maybe you're associating the wrong things with maturity.

 

Being feminine is a stereotype within that gay community. Granted many gay men act feminine, but not all of them. Personally most of the gays I know you would not know it unless they flat out told you. I think many guys feel like if they are gay, they have to be feminine too because that's what they see in the public eye. But that is not true. Personally if I wanted to be with someone feminine I would be with a girl, right? That being said, if you are feminine and that's just who you are, then go for it! Be yourself! But don't feel like you have to be a "queen" to be gay. Just be who you are and don't care about everyone else.

 

Femininity is not weakness. Females tend to be physically less powerful than males, but since you are a male, that is not a disadvantage you have. I would say something like "What, girly boys make you nervous?" and then give them a mischievous look. If you play into it, you take away their power.

And personally, I think femme guys are adorable.

 

:eusa_clap

especially "You can't weigh crazy"... :lol: so funny. but oh so true.

to OP: I completely agree with what everyone else is saying. I know that it's much easier said than done to be happy with yourself but you're getting it out right now and that's good. Now you have to keep moving forward- you feel weak. Do something about it. As the others suggested martial arts would be a great place to start. (*hug*)

 

Actually, the opposite has become far more common. Many gay men have grown to feel that they must be overtly-masculine in order to counteract their homosexuality, because femininity is seen as the most undesirable quality of a man in our misogynistic world. Hence the Normal-Straight Acting-Homosexual crazy that is currently ensuing.

If femininity is your only reason for not dating a woman, then you should be sure to change your orientation to include those of masculine and androgynous women. This ideal that the pinnacle of gender and sex is on expression is absolutely ridiculous and the exact reason why we have this negative aura around the topic in society today.