1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

seeing people on the street you are interested in? frustrated

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by justwondering, Sep 16, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    Happens every day. U see someone u like at the mall, store, carwash but if he is masculine you have no idea if he is gay or not or even into you. Sometimes you can strike up conversation but often its just something in passing. Meanwhile the options online or at gay centered events don't seem to be a match for what you like or interested in. How can you ever meet anyone like this? If it was a woman you coukd just flirt openly or give her a conolimemt but for a guy its always in passing. Just frustrated to see people you would like to get to know but never can. U have to be careful because you can't just go up to guys randomly as it can be dangerous if you are wrong. Help
     
    #1 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  2. Argentwing

    Argentwing
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Openly hitting on young guys will probably be just fine. It depends on what country you're from I guess, but how often do you hear of random fights breaking out over a single flirtatious compliment? Even the worst homophobes will not go straight to fighting even if they're thoroughly repulsed.
     
    #2 Argentwing, Sep 16, 2013
  3. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    I mean guys over 30
     
    #3 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  4. Argentwing

    Argentwing
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Probably more likely to get angry, but you never know until you try. You could always apologize and walk away unless they have the mentality of video game enemies and go straight to lethal intent.
     
    #4 Argentwing, Sep 16, 2013
  5. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    Thanks. Sounds funny but I mean this is a real issue and I don't wanna put myself in constant danger or embarrassment. I guess what I am saying is that guys I see in day to day seem more of the type I woukd be interested in but its hands off. You always feel like u have to dismiss guys you may be attracted to because if you don't know I'd they are gay u could be harming yourself
     
    #5 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  6. Diego89

    Diego89
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2013
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mexico
    The story of my life, I'm afraid I've no advice for you, sorry :frowning2:
     
    #6 Diego89, Sep 16, 2013
  7. Tightrope

    Tightrope
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    +1 haha ... that married lawyer (ese abogado casado).
     
    #7 Tightrope, Sep 16, 2013
  8. penguin machine

    penguin machine
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2013
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Niagara Falls
    Today, at the urinal, I was fantasizing about asking the really cute guy in my ethics class if he's gay. If he asks why I'll just tell him I thought he was too cute to be straight. Nature wouldn't bestow a smile that sweet on women!

    I'll probably never find out, but I feel braver when I imagine it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #8 penguin machine, Sep 16, 2013
  9. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    Thanks all. Sounds like there is no hope. Basically take your chances online dating or go to gay clubs or find some gay related non alcohol related events. Its just that you feel like you have to fish on a really tiny boxed in pond if you are gay and all the options in that pond seem not as great. However when you see the river on your left there are tons of trout in it but there is a big sign that says "you can't fish here ho back tot he gay pond where you belong". Disappointing.
     
    #9 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  10. Argentwing

    Argentwing
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm already taken, but that would totally work on me anyway. :love: OP, if I were you, I'd try this one out some time.
     
    #10 Argentwing, Sep 16, 2013
  11. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    Mmm k
     
    #11 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  12. MilansMele

    MilansMele
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2013
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    ever try the "missed connections" section on CL?

    It's a long shot, but better than doing nothing
     
    #12 MilansMele, Sep 16, 2013
  13. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    no, never heard of it. maybe i will try it.
     
    #13 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  14. oddlife35

    oddlife35
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2013
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    its probably best not to try and find love at first sight out on the street. that's just fantasy. yeah, fantasy I constantly dream about, too. like we're not going to check other guys out. it is tough because at least I tend to find an guy and dream that we could be together, but that's dumb because I don't even know him. in any case, I think the first step is usually friendship, not sweep me off my feet,
     
    #14 oddlife35, Sep 16, 2013
  15. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    well after reading that missed connection thing, it seems like a lot of thsoe are hookup requests. i guess the bottom line is that if you can make small talk, make it, if you dont speak to the person, then move on and make sure to speak to the next person you meet that you want to talk to.
     
    #15 justwondering, Sep 16, 2013
  16. MilansMele

    MilansMele
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2013
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Your conclusion is spot-on.

    I have been reading the missed connections section of CL for years because some of them sound like they are out of a movie script. Yes, there are a lot of hookup requests, but scattered among them are some true "lost opportunities", rather wistfully worded. Probably varies a lot from location to location.
     
    #16 MilansMele, Sep 16, 2013
  17. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    yea when i read them it seem sad. so many people looking for love and connection and it makes me think that for many guys that are 'under the radar" this sort of thing is a day in and day out experience of seeing someone you may be interested in but not being able to ask them out directly. the fact that there are so many of these lost opportunities, points to the whole point of my original post. i guess im not alone but its also a bit discouraging to realize that this is basically how it is if you like same sex.
     
    #17 justwondering, Sep 17, 2013
  18. Tightrope

    Tightrope
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Interesting how there's one look that's "too good looking to be straight" ... and another look that's "he's really hot but I think he's straight." I can't explain it. Maybe I can: the guy who is really good looking and thought NOT to be straight sometimes carries himself as if all eyes are on him. This is, again, from my perceptions and experiences.
     
    #18 Tightrope, Sep 17, 2013
  19. Romaine

    Romaine
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2013
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Love? No way. Sex? Hell yeah.

    Move to New York lol. So glad I live here. Maybe you just need to get in shape or something. Although your case is similar to mine but just a little different.
     
    #19 Romaine, Sep 26, 2013
  20. justwondering

    justwondering Guest

    I am n shape. Not sure how that's fits in. Yes nyc is nice but unless u r gonna pay my rent I'm nog movin there only to get hit up for no strings sex
     
    #20 justwondering, Sep 28, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)