I met someone that might become very important in my life. She's this really cool person that is hilarious and goofy but can still manage to hold a sensible conversation. She's a total geek and incredibly smart but she doesn't flaunt it. She's got that understated classy thing going on. She is also able to just.. voice how she feels so easily (at least on the surface) but I choke. I'm really happy but have come to realize that I am absolutely terrified of feeling things now. Being vulnerable scares the shit out of me. It's important that I figure this out because it isn't fair to her. Yes. There is history there. Plenty of reasons to be scared but I don't want to rationalize those reasons because I have to get past them now and move on. Help? -Sara
Normally I'd recommend "trust her" but it does seem like your problems are more internal. I think to let yourself be vulnerable you have to first convince yourself that it is normal to feel and express feelings to people close to you. You're able to tell us you are scared, so at the very least, tell her. If she knows what you're struggling with, she may be able to work with you if any issues arise. <3
Thanks- You're right that the problem is less with trusting her per say and more about other issues. She's a wonderful person- and I should be able to express myself to her but I never let my guard down and I'm just not sure if I know how to do that. I can tell myself in the moment that now is the time to just do it.. and then I choke. I wonder if the right thing to do is let her go.
Is "letting her go" a pattern with other past experiences? How about bucking the trend and ... trust her, trust yourself and your gut instinct that you feel good about her, and just see what happens? Allow yourself to be vulnerable a bit and see. Or am I missing the point behind your post?
Thanks for answering Bingo! I usually don't get involved so I can't say. This would be my first lesbian relationship if I pursue it. In my past relationships with men there was never really a desire to push past this boundary so this is all new territory. You're right though.
OK so if you normally don't cross this boundary, and you remain single as a result, how exciting it would be to cross the boundary with this person? But only if it feels right for you. Maybe just let the friendship continue and develop. You'll either be more attracted to her, or aspects of her might begin to turn you off her. And I guess you have to be prepared for things not to work, but that is what making yourself vulnerable is all about.
Thanks again. Today I did manage to open up a little bit. It's silly when we know that we both have developing feelings for each other and I don't know why I fight against myself but it did get easier once I started to just let go and express myself. She knows I care about her and more importantly she knows now that I really do think she is a wonderful person.:love: haha I could go on but.. :eusa_booh
There's where I think you're mistaken. I'm sure plenty of people on here would love to listen to you. Maybe I only speak for myself, but I'd read your lovey post lol. Falling in love may feel as uncontrolled as falling out of an airplane, but your significant other is the parachute.
