So I've been back in school for a month, but I haven't had much luck meeting anyone... I recently spent a night with someone I liked only to find out they were taken, and that's pretty much all I've accomplished. I just don't get what I'm doing wrong, I'm being myself and everything, but I'm totally lost as to where I can meet new people. The LGBT club is out of the question, it's all women. Other than that, the only other club I could join is either the all-male chorus or glee, and I don't sing at all... am I just not being patient enough? Everyone else makes it look so easy, even the few gay people I know or have met, most of them are taken. For months I've just been so restless and frustrated, I just don't know what to do about it anymore. The lack of someone special in my life isn't the only thing getting me down either, because now most of my friends are old enough to go out and they often do without me... I'm just expected to take it all in stride, and I pretend to but it really hurts me when they go out and have fun without me. This year is just awful so far, in almost every way. From those things I just mentioned to car trouble to the dirty people we live with (seriously they're shamelessly disgusting, and they blast music late on weeknights because they have no respect for anyone else), nothing seems to be going right.
I'm sorry you're having a bit of a rough patch (*hug*) Some thoughts: 1) Is there some reason you can't have lesbian friends? Unless the only reason you want to be involved in an LGBT club is to get a boyfriend, why not go and see what it's like? Some of them may also have gay male friends or relatives. Never underestimate the power of networking. 2) Is there an LGBT community center or the like in your area? Not a campus thing, but in the area. Same goes for any Meetup groups or the like that might be around. 3) If your friends are old enough to go out and drink, they are going to. You'll 'catch up' soon enough. In the meantime, I would hope they also do things that don't revolve around drinking from time to time so you can take part too. And now might also be a good time to look into other activities that could help you make some additional friends to do things with or find other things you can enjoy doing on your own. 4) As far as meeting someone - That should be the icing on the cake of your life, not the primary goal. In my experience, people who focus on finding someone as THE thing in their life usually end up being disappointed for frustrated for a long time. By all means, put yourself out there when you can and look for opportunities. But while you're at it, also work to become a person who is comfortable being alone with themselves. That sort of self-confidence can both help you be happy in yourself and can also be very attractive to some people when you get a chance to socialize and meet others, including potential romantic partners. My 2c worth, Todd
Well, as for the LGBT club, I did give it some thought but I'd feel weird being the only guy... and as for my friends going out yeah I understand, but I lived abroad this past year, meaning I could go out and do all that stuff, and now I come back and I'm literally treated like a baby. The sheer stupidity of our drinking culture is overwhelming, I have no other words to describe how I feel about it. Half the people who just turned 21 aren't as mature as most 18 year olds in Europe (they yell at people on the sidewalk when they're driving, seriously what the hell?) they don't even deserve the privilege. So I have another 10 months until I'm out of that limbo... and I know meeting someone shouldn't be my number 1 priority, I mean, in the grand scheme of things it really isn't, but I think about it a lot because most of my friends are involved with someone and they all seem really happy. I'll admit it, it makes me jealous... I'm jealous of them because they have what every normal person has (basic life comes slowly to me), they're jealous of me because my major involves a lot of traveling, but it'd be nice to have what they have. Can't have it all I guess.
