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any black guys on here?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by justwondering, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. hello, i was just curious if there were any black guys on here in which i could discuss being gay in the context of also being African American and the cultural issues within our own community that make it hard to come out and also get dating tips?
     
  2. AKTodd

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    There are some black guys on here (I'm racially mixed myself), but I couldn't tell you who off the top of my head. I imagine someone will be by in bit. Otherwise, please stick around, take part in any conversations that grab your interest, and eventually I'm sure you'll touch base with some of the black members.

    Todd:slight_smile:
     
  3. thanks todd. maybe we can chat. do you take part in black culture/events/dating. i need advice on some things regarding that.
     
  4. gravechild

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    I can name at least three regular and awesome users from the top of my head, and two others that come around every now-and-then, but wouldn't want to blow their cover, so I'll wait and see if they reply to this thread, instead.

    I will say that you're not alone, on EC or in the black gay dating world.
     
  5. ok. it's looking like not that many. oh well. i tried :slight_smile:
     
  6. AKTodd

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    I'm afraid not. I've various black friends and co-workers and such, but don't take part in culture/events. And I've been partnered for 16yrs now, so don't date.

    Todd
     
  7. Gen

    Gen
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    I wouldn't say that I take part in any black culture, or any of my backgrounds for that matter, but I am very familiar with them. I am multiracial. (Plausibly around ~40% African American)

    I'm not sure what specifically you wanted to discuss, but there are definitely other African Americans on the site.
     
  8. Bolin

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    I'm African American, but I'm afraid I don't think I'd be much help when it comes to "Black" events and such in the LGBT* community. :/ As far as dating goes....I met my ex online, largely because of an insane stroke of luck, so I doubt I'd be much help in that regard either. xD But yeah, there are definitely a few users on here who are Black or have some Black heritage.
     
  9. Phoenixaaa

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    Hi and welcome to EC! :smilewave You also seem to be in luck because I just so happen to be black too~

    Just adding info... I have no idea what I can help you with, but I can offer the perspective of a more fem black guy, if need be.
     
    #9 Phoenixaaa, Sep 25, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2013
  10. DesertTortoise

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    I hope you can bring more black coming-outers here. Don't be discouraged. We need you.. I mean, I need you. I don't know 'we' from shit. I don't want to be in a white enclave on line... don't live in one, don't want to be part of one anywhere.
     
  11. Tightrope

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    I'm not, but I understand different cities have different scenes for African-American GLBT folks, with Atlanta leading that front, and other metros like Washington DC/MD/VA and a few others having sizable, visible, and active communities. I would imagine the level of access and participation varies with where one is located. That doesn't mean you can't make a go of it in, say, St. Louis or Denver, but I'm just addressing the strength of the culture and the community.
     
  12. How do u deal when u r a bkk man that likes guys but everyone thinks u r straigh. U don't fit in with the fem guys and u don't wanna talk about girls and sports 247 with the straight homies. At gay spots or events there are rarely any blk guys like me there. Either they are super fem or dressed up to look masculine but eventually shoe their femness. Nothing wrong with that or being fem. I'm just looking for guys I can relate to just like the fem wanna b able to relate to other fems. The only thing is blk guys who are sraight looking and acting do not go to gay events. They are hidden and it seems frusrtating to even know how to meet them. I feel alone.
     
  13. junior

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    Yes, I'm African American
    & would like to start friendships(!)

    ---------- Post added 26th Sep 2013 at 01:29 AM ----------

    :thumbsup:
     
  14. Phoenixaaa

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    I think this dilemma should be less about the group you see yourself around and more concerning what you, as an individual, enjoy doing. This is because getting caught up in the environment (whether it be in a place you feel uncomfortable or not) solely based on meeting guys, could possibly result in overlooking a potential partner or friend.

    Questions you could ask yourself-
    What qualities do I see in people whom are considered friends, that could easily be identifiable in strangers?
    In these different environments, did I feel the need to act more ____?
     
  15. Thks bro. But I have friends. I want to date. I do thimgs iblike to do and I am open to mtg people there. But how can u knowbif a dude is gay when he is mascukinem I am not attracted to fem dudes but they are atteacted to me. Y waste my time or theirs

    ---------- Post added 28th Sep 2013 at 12:34 AM ----------

    I have also noticed at white gay places some of the patrons are racist against blks. Its like we are trash to them or invisble. I am not into white dudes but I have been treated like I'm an inwanted guest in their lil gay club. News flash I don't wanna b a part of your club. I'm not into fem dudes but if one approaches me or makes conversation i will not b rude. Its funny how the same people who try and use the black civil rights cases to support their wants and needs turn right back around and treat gay blk people like they don't want our kind in their places. Not all whites of course but I have been looked at like "what the eff are you doing here by white snow queens.
     
  16. Thanks all. I'm getting off of here. Best of wishes to all. I simply do not share the same experiences as many people here and noone can relate. Best of wishes
     
  17. Tyrael

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    I'm sorry you obviously had some bad experiences in gay clubs or bars. You said you're not anti-fem in another thread but again you go on with the "white snow queens" which I guess also borders on an almost racist attitude.

    I think perhaps you're expecting too much in too little time from the EC community. I have been reading through the posts on several threads you've been involved in and you seem to be expecting a perfect answer or what you want to hear and nothing in between. I am sorry you're wanting to leave but if you're unwilling to accept advice or at least give it a chance to try some of the things you've been advised to do, I don't see what benefit you'll get from it. In any case I hope you find who you're looking for.
     
  18. Ok I'm now a racist and homophobe. What else? Whatever dude. I'm outta here.in fact I'm done with the sexuality exploration. I don't want any parts of this. Cheerio. Oh I guess guys can call each other bitches and girls and queens in gayworld and thats ok but if someone that isn't fem says anything then we are homophobic. Pure bollucks!!! Whatever. This site is not for me. Peace
     
    #18 justwondering, Sep 28, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2013
  19. Tyrael

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    Actually no I simply stated what I have been seeing and I'm not the only one to do so. All that stuff has nothing to do with sexuality exploration, it's just your attitude seems I don't know, overly defensive? You just need to step off a little and take a breath, are you new to your sexuality like me? Sort of just discovering it?

    And personally I don't call anyone girls, queers, bitches etc...I don't quite understand that but hey that's just me and I'm new to the "scene".
     
  20. C P

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    You're probably gone by now but I can relate in the sense of being a 'straight acting' black gay guy...(even when I hinted at me maybe being to a friend of mine who is also gay, he said he never got that vibe from me; sadly he's moved).

    Funny you mention the 'white gay' situation because I just got stood up earlier by a guy partly because I'm not white(or hell...could be the whole reason as far as I know). That's one of my annoyances in that they seem to be the top in the list of desires or something; we had fun chatting otherwise until shortly after that had come up, which was the odd thing about it.

    The big difference between us though is that you're more open, right? I'm still really new to the scene myself.