OK so I went to this gay youth group thing a few weeks ago. Got along well with everyone and one guy said to add him on facebook, which I did. After a little bit of chat over facebook (nothing terribly personal) he asked me out the other day. I'm not attracted to the guy but he was alright to get along with. I didn't want to turn him down because that's the sort of avoidant behaviour I've been trying to overcome so I said yes. This is my first date...ever. Last night he started to make it pretty clear he is really wanting sex out of this. He asked me outright if there's a chance he would "get lucky" and other stuff in general like penis size etc. I didn't say yes to anything but I didn't say no either. The reality is that there's little chance because I don't find him attractive or have an interest in a relationship with him. Having had little experience with this, am I being naive thinking that not all dates have to be about sex straight up? I'm also wondering if it's a bit selfish of me considering I only really agreed to this date more or less as a practice? I was expecting to see a nice movie, eat and hang out with someone and get to know them. Clearly his expectations are different and it's not like I feel pressure to have sex. Even thought I'm a virgin, I want it to at least be with someone hot
This guy sounds like a horndog out for a hookup. If that's not your cup of tea, feel free to decline. Not all dates are about sex. You're completely in the right to be put off here, and I think you're wise to keep a clear picture of what you want. Seeing a movie and learning about somebody is exactly what a first date should be.
Thanks Yeah it was interesting because when he first asked, it was all "no pressure" and "is this a date?" etc. Then suddenly it's all become a hookup in his mind. Admittedly, if it was a cute guy I wouldn't be asking this question right now. I'm just caught up in this predicament of whether I should bother with it at all knowing it's fairly likely I would turn him down.
Of course it's all at a speed you're comfortable with, so if he was cute enough that you'd want to say yes, go for it. I was with my girlfriend for a few months before we approached that level of intimacy, but we were both virgins and had no idea what we were doing XD.
