So this is sorta related to another thread I did but "I don't wanna by gay". I came out over year ago cause I thought things would be better and well over a year later and a feel even more crappier. I mean yeah coming out did work for while but recebtky, the more ive thought about being gay and having to be gay for the rest of my life... Well I just do to want to be. If I could be straight I would be, not saying life would be a lot easier but at least I wouldn't have to deal with the whole gay side of things. I just really don't like and am not happy about. Sitting going "well I'm stuck with it, better be happy" attitude just doesn't work. I mean why did I have to like guys? Why? Why couldn't just be a guy and like girls but I know its impossible. I've tried to been fine with, to be proud and happy about over a year now things still don't feel right. Talking to my non is pointless cause she came out so stuff like: "Well give it a go" in reference to wanting to be straight "I don't understand what you mean" in reference to not wanting to be gay "Well something must have clicked to make you gay" which makes it sound like I've got a choice in all this. Boy I wish I did. I mean I love my parents and all but they don't understand. I don't mean to offend anyone bit I just want to be gay. I wish I could change it. It's not a lifestyle I think I can deal with. Why me?
I know it's not what you want to hear (sorry!) but you really can't help your sexuality. As you said, it's not your choice. But why you? Well, nobody can answer that. However, I can tell you one thing: the reason why you're feeling crappy is because you are a sensitive, lovely and amazing person. To be honest with you, I often ask myself the exact same thing - except about my gender and body rather than my sexuality. At the end of the day, I suppose you are who you are. If you could change that, then you wouldn't be yourself any more.
