I've been in a relationship with a girl for a little over a year now, and it was amazing for the first couple of months despite the fact that we had to be completely secret about it since we are both female. We're still in high school (both seniors) so our parents still have control over us, and we only see each other every so often because we attend different schools. A couple months into the relationship, both her parents found out I like her and forbid us from seeing each other; my parents know that I like girls and forbid me from seeing her as well =_= We're still together, but it's been really painful for me as I'm pretty insecure when it comes to relationships, but lately I've been questioning her motives even more so. For example, we met up together for our youth group event (the only way we can see each other now because of our parents) a few weeks ago, and the whole time she shows no signs that she still likes me more than a friend. She's going around from guy to guy and spending more time with them, and refuses to be alone with me even though this was a rare opportunity for us to be together in person. She refuses to make physical contact with me, and moves away when I brush against her. At the end of the event, I confront her about if she even liked me more than a friend and if she wanted to break up. The reply she gave me was "Give me some time to think about it", so at that point I figure we're pretty much done. She leaves early and an hour later, I get a text from her saying she's been thinking about it and will tell me everything on Skype. We talk that night and she said she's been acting like that lately because she doesn't want people to be suspicious of us being together, but ever since that incident I've been wondering if that's her true reason. After all, if it was then why couldn't she have at least said she still had feelings for me at the instead of having to think it over and explain everything later? I keep wondering if she was using that time to list the "pros and cons" of staying with me, since I've done a lot of things for her in the past simply because I want to make her happy. Basically, I'm questioning whether she's staying with me to use me. I've always been there for her, done her homework for her, be the one to sneak past my parents and walk back and forth to see her, buy gifts for her, and just appreciate her. While she does contribute to the relationship as well, lately the effort has become less and less. The last time we were affectionate with each other was over 2 months ago (her reason: "I'm not comfortable doing that in public" even tho in the past she was totally fine with it). I get that feeling that she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. Is it right for me to not trust her? What should I do about this since talking to her about this only makes her annoyed? Really sorry for the long post, I tried to cram everything into as few paragraphs as I could >_<
Whether or not she's using you (You've done her homework for her? ), it doesn't sound like you're happy in the relationship. I think you can do better... It's up to you whether you want to talk to her about these concerns or whether you just want to leave her, or whether you'd be content to let things run their course instead. I can't say whether it's right or wrong for you to be suspicious, but I do think that most, if not all, feelings are always justified in some sort of way. I also think you're not being unreasonable in the slightest, so don't worry about that. You could try to talk to her just once more, even if you say she doesn't listen... All in all, I think you deserve better. Talking to her openly and honestly cannot be faulted, though, so that's always worth one more shot if you think it is. I wish you the best =)
It does sound like she is using you. If I were you, I would end things. People tend to not realize what they have until it's gone. If you're afraid to end things because you don't want to lose her, then think about how things are now. What are you getting from this relationship other than the fact that you're remaining loyal to someone who treats you like this? You deserve so much more than this.
