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Advice on how to move to somewhere gay friendly?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Stridenttube, Oct 6, 2013.

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  1. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    I really want to move somewhere more gay friendly but I don't know how. I don't know if anyone would hire me since I don't really have a degree. I'm just an IT guy that dreams of someday living somewhere where being gay isnt frowned upon. I want to move before I'm too old, before I turn 25.

    Has anyone moved at a young age that has advice? Is moving only a pipe dream? Oklahoma is soul crushingly depressing as a gay guy like myself. Advice greatly appreciated! :slight_smile:
     
    #1 Stridenttube, Oct 6, 2013
  2. blond

    blond
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    Don't come to ohio unless you plan on moving to columbus or maybe troy.
     
    #2 blond, Oct 6, 2013
  3. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! Reading that you don't have a degree, the first thing you might want to look into is getting a degree/post-secondary education. A lot of jobs, especially more 'specialized' jobs will likely require a post-secondary degree. Pursuing post-secondary education, could allow you to move away from Oklahoma to a more gay friendly place.

    It looks like you already have a field that you would like to pursue professionally. I would encourage you to get a degree, or at the very least a certification in the IT field, increasing your prospects of finding meaningful and stable employment. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Mirko, Oct 6, 2013
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    If you're an IT guy it should not be that difficult to find a new job in a bigger city, as IT is pretty in demand, and it's one of those careers where degrees are less important than skills.

    I would suggest looking somewhere that's a smaller city but still very gay friendly. There are thousands that are gay friendly and IT friendly. Off the top of my head, Columbus, OH comes to mind, it's a big tech center with a huge gay population. If you want a more hippieish gay place, maybe Eugene, OR.

    The other option is, depending on how well paid you are now, to give up IT for the moment and get a job at some place like Starbucks that has a really good relocatoin policy. I have several friends that work at Starbucks and moved across the country, or several hundred miles away, and just transferred from their current job to their new one with no hassles.

    If you're transferring with a job in place, then I'd have a couple months worth of rent/food/etc plus money for a security deposit saved up before you go. If you're going to be looking for a job, I'd have 3 or 4 months of rent and expenses saved up.

    And another really good option when you move to a new city is to start out living in a shared house. You can find ones for rent on Craigslist and you can put up a "housing wanted" ad as well which will get people to contact you. There are quite a few young gay guys sharing houses, and that can be a great way to meet new people. Even living with straight people will help you meet new people as you'll end up connecting with their friends.

    It can be exciting and fun. It's also scary and there are almost always issues that come up, so you have to expect that and be able to roll with it... but I'd strongly encourage you to do it.
     
    #4 Chip, Oct 6, 2013
  5. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    I won't be able to make 40k as a Barista haha. I think I can find a job as user support or network admin but finding a job is what I'm worried about. I don't know how employers do interviews with people who aren't there in person. Maybe you know?


    Thanks chip!
     
    #5 Stridenttube, Oct 6, 2013
  6. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Employers are often times open to doing a phone interview if you can't be present in person for an interview. Plus, some employers have also started doing interviews over Skype. If a potential employers likes what you have to offer, they will make an effort in finding a way to interview you.

    What might help you is to think about a couple of locations where you would like to live, and then start actively pursuing opportunities in these areas. Maybe start with the geographic areas that Chip mentioned, and take it from there.

    You might also want to have a look at what are the qualifications people will be looking for, because this could also have an impact on where you would be able to find a job. Do a bit of a labour market research (i.e. where are the jobs, who is hiring, and what is the demand in various geographic areas) for network admin positions. :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Mirko, Oct 6, 2013
  7. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Determine what qualities you want in a place to live and then make a list of those places that meet have those qualities (or enough of em that you can live with what it lacks). You've already mentioned gay friendly as a must-have. IIRC The Human Rights Campaign maintains lists of both gay friendly employers and gay friendly places to live, both in the US and outside it. I'd start there. You can also google for 'gay friendly places to live' or the like and turn up a lot of hits, I'm sure. You're a 19yr old IT guy - I'm willing to bet you can internet search rings around me if you want to:slight_smile:

    Getting back to qualities, if you're going to pull up stakes and move across the country then you should also consider other factors such as: Climate, cost of living, population density, likelihood of natural disasters, etc. As to why: New York City is probably one of the most gay friendly places around - but if you can't handle living with millions of people on your doorstep or will have to live in a toilet stall on your salary, it might be good to look elsewhere. Or whatever factors are important to you.

    On a final note - 25 or over 25 is not 'too old' to move or do much else. I was 27 when I moved from Arizona to Virginia and hit the giant 'Reboot' button on my life and that turned out rather well, thank you:grin:. People move and make major changes in their lives at all ages from 20-80. I realize that you probably think your entire life will be over by the time you're 25, but frankly it just ain't so (unless you choose to make it so anyway).

    I'm going to make you a prediction: When you're 25, you're going to look back and laugh at the thought that you used to think that 25 was 'too old'. Of course you may have moved that goal post and be angsting about 30 or 40 being 'too old', but that's a choice for you to make (or not).

    Anyway - hope the above helps and good luck on your move. It may take a little while to set up but, speaking from experience, a total change of scene can sometimes be just the thing to put your life in a better and happier space.

    Take care,

    Todd:smilewave
     
    #7 AKTodd, Oct 6, 2013
  8. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    That's great advice! I'm hoping to move in the next three years or so, after I have a few years of experience under my belt and have my Bimmer paid off. I got lucky and work at a well known international company right after I got done with three years of school for IT. I'll have many skills to put on my resume when I leave.

    I think my best friend is going to move with me so I'll have a roommate and someone to keep me company in a new place. I just hope the IT job market densest crash in the next few years. Technology is advancing everyday so I see no sign of it slowing down.
     
    #8 Stridenttube, Oct 6, 2013
  9. dano218

    dano218
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    Sometimes just taking a risk and moving is all it takes. I know it is somewhat irrational and risky but life is too short to not take a big risk. I did and don't regret any minute of it.
     
    #9 dano218, Oct 6, 2013
  10. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    It is a big risk, but having lived in the same house my whole life, I'm ready to leave. Oklahoma sucks haha. That's for the advice guys.
     
    #10 Stridenttube, Oct 7, 2013
  11. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Something that just occurred to me: you mention that you work for what is presumably a large company. Do they offer any kind of relocation options?

    Probably not something you could do immediately, but if you like the company you might see if any of the LGBT friendly places on your list overlap with company locations. Or aim yourself on a track that let's you work for them from home, if that's an option.

    Basically, it may be possible to move while keeping your job and getting your employer to either pay for it or at least pay for part of it. Depends on the company and the nature of what you do of course, but might be an option to explore.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
    #11 AKTodd, Oct 9, 2013
  12. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    I wish that was possible. No chance of relocoting. Ill just have to get my certs and get my resume in order before I move and hope I can find a.job. even better if I can find one before I move. Super scary to think.about haha. It.may just be worth it .
     
    #12 Stridenttube, Oct 9, 2013
  13. Aquilo

    Aquilo
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    Maybe when you have a vacation, try to visit a place where you might wish to work and see if there are jobs around? Then you can keep your old job, until you have a new one and move at the same time when changing jobs. Then when you're established in the new area you can try searching for a better job.
     
    #13 Aquilo, Oct 9, 2013
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