So I am at an all-time low right now and I just needed to vent and maybe some advice would help too... Anyway, im a freshman in college and I can honestly say that I like it a lot less than I thought I would. I was never too excited to go to college (I hate change, and my high school group of friends can never be replaced), but I thought by now I would at least LIKE it. I am finding myself sticking with this one group of friends in my hall, even though we have like nothing in common and I dont really like them at all. I am trying to break out of their group but seeing as how they live with me and I dont know anyone else, its hard. I havent been interested in any clubs so that isnt a source for friends, and my classes are all huge so theres no chance of making friends there. I just feel like I have no way out. I have been keeping these feelings at bay pretty much until I went home last weekend, then it all just rushed to the surface. My experiences at home are a whole other issue and I'm not sure if they are related or not. So I was home for my brother's wedding (he is technically my half brother, I was in his bridal party). Anyway, this weekend was the best ever, I had more fun than I have had in a LONG time. But as of right now, its making me feel even more shitty. The wedding mostly consisted of his other side of the family that I am not related to, but they were all so welcoming and fun, I really felt at home with them. Now that I am back in school, however, its depressing me. I don't see my brother that often, but when I do I never see his family, its just the two of us. Seeing him with his family was fine with me at the time but the more I think about it the more jealous of them I get. We are 10 years apart, and he only lived with me until I was 4, then he lived with them and I have only seen him sparingly. Its like I only got him for 4 years and they got him for the rest, which isnt fair. And now when I have more of an opportunity to get to know him and his family, I still can't because I'm in college out of state (a college that I dont even like). Its all just spiraled from here, I'm not sure what to do or how I can make myself feel better
I'm not sure if I have any advice for you but I can say that I empathize. I hated college; it felt like another thing I had to just get through. Like a job you don't really care for. So that's how I treated it; get in, do what I need to do and get out. Are you still close to your high school friends? If you are then you can look at it this way: You're not there to make friends, you're there to get good grades so you can have a shot at a financially successful future. If you find yourself actually wanting to make friends then I have some questions. What do you like to do? What are you interested it? Are there things at your school that cater to those interests where you could find people who think similarly? As for your brother you mentioned that you don't see him a lot. Is it possible for you to text him, call him or even e-mail him here and there just to keep up the contact? I know it's not as good as having him physically in your life the way you want him to be, but you'd at least have some sort of relationship with him.
