So I was just joking and talking to my mom about gay people when my mom says "Are you trying to say something without saying it?" I said jokingly "Yeah mom I'm soo gay and David (my secret boyfriend) is my secret boyfriend!" then she says I'm honestly asking that, you seem to be talking about homosexuality a lot. I then said no mom, I'm not gay. I really don't know what to do, I didn't tell her because I was waiting to tell her when I'm 18 and I had to think fast. I assume my mom is unsure of my sexuality and knowing her she probably talked about it to my dad about it. I have a weird feeling that everything will suddenly go to hell if either of my parents found out. I have no idea what I should do and should I wait to tell them or should I tell them now?
Unless you've seriously toned down what she says, she sounds like she's OK with it...can you tell us more about how she asked, tone of voice that sort of thing?
I agree with ElliaOtaku (by the way, you're cute!) in that we probably need more about tone to judge what your mom said. Tell us how your mom has been reacting to the topics you've brought up lately. Have you been bringing them up to test the waters? At this point, if you're confident your mom will be accepting, I think it would probably be fine to tell her. You can tell her that you weren't going to rush anything, including telling her, til you were ready to talk about it down the road.
She spoke like she was okay with it but I have no idea how she would react. It feels like more of a shame and fear combined feel because I don't know how she would react and my sexuality is not something I just go around telling everyone about. Would it be better to get it over and done with or something best done later in life? ---------- Post added 8th Oct 2013 at 04:51 PM ---------- Oh sorry my mom had just spoke about it normally. I did talk about sexuality in general to my dad and when bisexuality came up what he said scared me. "Bisexuals are confused and don't know what they want." he also believes that there is no difference between bisexuality and homosexuality. When I jokingly said I was gay once she said it wouldn't surprise her I laughed and said "what if I was seriously gay" and she said she honestly wouldn't be surprised. I did say this to test the waters. Who is cute?
I am cute OK so, and remember this is just my perspective, but what I take from that is the following: Your mum spoke about it normally and said she wouldn't be suprised if you were gay. If you really HAVE been mentioning it a lot, then you know, maybe she won't be. What your dad said is wrong but isn't necessarily a bad thing. Basically he is saying you either like guys or girls. He's wrong, but he isn't saying that being gay is a BAD thing, just that anyone who calls themselves bisexual are basically gay but don't want to call themselves that. I could be wrong but it sounds like they might be OK with it.
Haha I'm not gay, I'm a pansexual. (but was planning to come out as a bisexual as it would save me a lot of time because they don't know what a pansexual is and it would be easier) Which would be better though, now or later?
Well, the sooner the better ya know? That's my general rule for coming out because when you come out to new people, they can push you away if they want to before you get too close and end up getting hurt. Hooooowever, seeing as we're talking about parents here, who are probably not new people at this point in your life, the rules apply a little differently. I still say sooner is better because it gives them more time to accept it instead of you turning 18, telling them, then going off to college or any such scenario like that
