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I might have not been here today

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Jessica79, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Jessica79

    Full Member

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    I need some major advice ;-; I was walking along the street and when a car came along I walked out infront of it he stopped before he could hit me being in the closet and not being able to be who I am is probably going to end up killing me the past few days I have had thoughts of suicide when I was alone yesterday I got a sharp knife and held it to my throat debating if I should do it I stopped myself but its just getting too much everyday I am upset my dad wonders why I have an attitude and angry all the time I would love to tell him why but I'm too scared I don't know what to do anymore I'm tempted to just go to the nearest train station and wait a train wont stop and it will be fast and painless.

    I don't want to kill myself as I will hurt alot of people but I just IDK :'(
     
    #1 Jessica79, Oct 9, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2013
  2. laut

    Regular Member

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    I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Would it be worth trying someone like the samaritans to talk to about how bad you're feeling? They've really, really helped me in the past.

    I think it might be worth remembering that whilst you're not out now, it's doesn't always have to be like that. It sounds like eventually you'll reach a point where not being out is worse than the fear of being yourself.
     
  3. LD579

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    It really would be best to tell someone about how you're feeling. If you're in school, there should be a school counsellor that you could talk to. I don't know about your dad, but is there a reason you don't want to talk to him about it? Could you get into more detail? Ideally, I'd suggest therapy as it's very, very helpful for helping oneself sort things out. Depending on how old you are, you might have to tell a parent if you did go that route (Which is scary, admittedly, but if your parents would be supportive and/or try to understand you, it really could be a great move to make) or something just for logistics reasons... Feeling the way you do is extremely difficult to deal with all by yourself. If you'd like, you're also always welcome to PM a staff member if you'd like to talk more one-on-one.