Hi I'm new here and I need advice. I have a pretty nasty story to tell and I need some advice! I grew up with a girl that I almost immediately fell in love with. Time passed on, she dated a lot of guys. There was just no way that we could ever be anything! After a lot of years had gone by, we reconnected as friends and out of the blue she told me that she's in love with me and that she had been in love with me for several years. She didn't tell me before because she wasn't sure I like girls but I do and I was sooo in love with her for a long time. Imagine my surprise when she confessed her true feelings for me! I was beyond ecstatic! I was sooo happy! So we immediately started dating. We had sex which was wonderful. Everything was going great...Until she started cheating on me. She cheated on me within the first 2 months of us being together! I was crushed! I confronted her on it, she apologized and told me it was just a slip up and that it wouldn't happen again. But it kept happening! She cheated over and over again! I finally had enough of her cheating but I couldn't get myself to end the relationship. I was tooo whipped and in love with her to do anything to put a stop on the relationship! She pretty much had a tight hold on me. She kept telling me she was sorry and none of those other girls meant anything to her, that I was her number one and I actually believed her. I became very very angry through out the relationship because of her cheating but I stayed with her because I didn't want to lose that blissful feeling of being in love with her. Yeah stupid, I know! So as I grew angrier and angrier at her, she decided to turn things around on me and ended our relationship and she stated that because I was so angry at her, she was going to end it all based on my anger! Crazy huh? So being that we were friends for 30 years now, we went back to being friends. It was not what I wanted but she wanted it. She was controlling the relationship and when I would call her out on her cheating, she accused ME of being the controlling one. She never takes any responsibility for her actions and she wants to blame me for the demise of our relationship. Recently, I found out from her own words that she was doing another girl who recently got married to her girlfriend! She even went as far as saying that the sex with this other girl was way better than what she had with me. This other girl just got married and her partner does not even know that she was messing around with my ex. I got even more angry and I called my ex out on all the stupid things she's doing! She flat out told me that she doesn't care about me or how I feel. She accuses me of being bipolar and an old soul and that nobody will ever love me. I think she is saying all of this to maker herself feel better. I know she is in the wrong 100% and its killing me that she can't even see that she is so wrong and so hurtful. The problem is that I am in still in love with her but at the same time, I am extremely angry at her! I know the relationship with her is not good for me and there is no way in hell that I would ever go back to her. I know I deserve better! I know that she does not deserve to have me in her life, not even as a friend! I know that she is the problem and she is feeling miserable about it and wants to bring me down too! I need advice on how I can cope with all of the crap she is putting me through. I just need some support. How can I get this girl out of my heart being that the feelings I've had for her so long are so deeply entrenched! I hurt so bad and I need help!
Well I know this is not heaps of help but sometimes crying helps, I know when I have a emotional issue I find something that centers me and helps me focus, for example I work out, or listen to music. I know what your going through I had a very similar situation occur. One thing that I do remeber doing is going out (I don't know how old you are) I love jazz so I went one Sunday night to my favorite pub and sat at the bar and just listened, I am not advocating getting wasted but find something you enjoy something that calms and like I said centers you emotionally or spiritually. I know its not the greatest answer ever given but just know that your not alone.
Thank you for your kind words. I actually do try and keep myself busy. I go to the gym, I hang out with friends and I go to school. I am easily distracted which helps out a lot. But I am devastated at my ex's actions! She doesn't care how I feel and how hurt I am. I know that its not me, its all her. I think she is sick. She is so hopped up on sex that she does not care who she has sex with, as long as it has two legs! She's never ever had successful relationship with anyone! Every single relationship she ended herself and primarily because of her cheating! She always tries to justify her cheating! She can never ever feel bad for all of her deceitful lies and she constantly wants to make me feel like I am the problem! I'm the one who caused her to break up with me because of my anger! But she caused all of my anger! All I ever want is to get her out of my system! I want to feel absolutely nothing for her! She does not deserve a person like me in her life. I just want all of this pain to be done and over with!
Its awesome you have stuff to do, and I know the pain sucks and you just want it over with and done but to be honest when you truly love someone and you give them your heart the pain does not always go away. Its something very special when you can say that you gave your whole heart to someone and yeah it sucks when they break it, but that's just because they aren't the one. I know it sucks when you get blamed for killing a relationship but you honestly gave it your all you stuck in there, even when she was cheating that takes a lot of stregnth. She may never come to admit it but that's her loss, you have an amazing heart so don't let her get you down she was just a bump in the road towards finding miss right or Mr right :3
Tbh with you she sounds like a bitch and I wouldn't even be friends with her. I know you've known her for years but the past is the past and you need to think about the future. Forget about her go find someone whos better, you derserve better than that. And next time if they cheat on you dump them straight away. In my opinion the least a gf or bf should be is faithful, it's a minimium requirement. You completely right to feel angry at her. Being cheated on must be a horrible feeling and no worth your time will do that to you
Oh! I forgot to mention that there was this one time we went out to dinner and then a club. This was one of the nights where she told me that she was really in love with me and that she wanted for us to be married some day. This was probably the most intense night of our relationship. We didn't just have sex, we made love. Its was powerful but...On that same night? She kissed a girl right in front of me! I immediately asked why she did that after telling me she loved me so much. She said that she was drunk and the other girl came up to her and started kissing her. I know the girl who she kissed and I am in no way upset at her. Because the girl didn't even know me and my ex were dating. My ex never blocked her or told that we were together! True, my ex was drunk that night but I'm pretty sure she knew that she was kissing another girl! How do I know this? Well there was this other girl in the club who was just plain ugly who approached my ex, trying to grind on her and she wanted to get into my ex's pants! My ex pushed her away while looking like she was disgusted! The girl who my ex kissed actually apologized to me! Which was cool with me. I harbor no resentment against the other girl. It was all my ex! I know she knew what she was doing! Which makes me sooooo upset! Its so pathetic that she can't choose a relationship and stay committed to it! ---------- Post added 11th Oct 2013 at 01:47 PM ---------- Paris...Its probably the latter... She definitely does not know what true love is!
