It's what I've always been told. The truth is, that in the time since I've come out, I've met several boys who might have been 'the right one', whom I definitely would have loved to have dated. The floppy-haired advertizing executive who looked brilliant in white tie and was happy to meet me for coffee — but who had a boyfriend at home; the blond civil servant with the great smile, painted toenails and love of musical theatre — who surprised everyone by 'coming out' as straight; the English student who kissed me when he was drunk but wouldn't even speak to me the morning afterward; the youthful classical baritone who, at five year's my junior, told me he 'wasn't ready to commit to a relationship' (possibly true, or maybe he just found me repulsive, I have some sympathy either way); the corporate lawyer with the milk white hands and the interest in LGBT human rights law — who also turned out to be straight; and most recently the academic botanist with amazing eyes and a love of Byzantine history and obscure Italian operas — who also turns out to have a semi-secret boyfriend. I've tried everything. The bar nights, the book clubs, even the dating websites. For the better part of three years. In that time, I managed a single and progressively more dysfunctional relationship with someone whom, if I'm honest, I never really fancied. He liked me, though, which seems to be the rarest quality in the human race. I just don't seem capable of attracting to whom I'm the least bit attracted. The only men who DO fancy me, tend to be vastly older (as in several decades, and thus a bit creepy), and a few people who are just generally a bit creepy. Is there anything that I can possibly do to avoid dying alone?
WAIT, WAIT, AND WAIT SOME MORE!!!!! I was 40 1/2 years old when I got my true love and that was a long wait! Trying all those years to find a gay guy who would date me was so discouraging! Either having to settle for a bi who seemed to never be satisfied with me, or a straight guy who would love me only in secret like the one I have now. My current husband tells everybody I am his cousin, causing everybody to think he is single which leads to women throwing themselves at him constantly. It is maddening to be honest! Most of his family knows about me though. I don't think anyone ever gets to have relationships like our grandparents did. Just look at the divorce rate among straights. All the people around me are straight and so few stay together and so many are stuck being single. I wish I had a easy answer for you, but there is no easy answer. For me I have to be the most perfect woman out there to stand out from the crowd since my body is incorrect. It seems most men have no problem giving sex, but only give their heart to barbie dolls, or in the gay case to the guys who use steroids and live in the gym. It is all about looks from what I have seen, not that mine are bad for a man but suck for a woman. I am sure there are the exceptions, but I don't know where to look for them which brings us back to you just have to wait for him to find you. That is what happened to me anyway. Lots of lonely nights, abusive relationships, and no strings fun is what my life was like until last year when we got together. Good Luck on your search! June
