So I've had this problem for a while now, I was always the shy type and recently I am much more comfortable talking to others and making more friends. However all I can talk to them is 'small talk' usually about school or something kinda general. I have trouble getting on a new level of connection with people. I don't have very many close friends who invite me to do everything with them... How can I get past this? I have watched some of my friends interact with each-other and they just talk about the randomest things. Sometimes it's stuff I could careless about...
You could ask what their favourite bands or artists are. Or what TV shows they are following at the moment. Let them know what you like as well. Also try to talk about what they like doing. It's also important to show that you're interested in what they did or are going to do, so ask if they have any plans for the weekend, or the holidays. Again, you should also let them know what you're doing. You could also just talk about interesting things you've heard or thought about.
I have this trouble. I think subconsciously I actually gravitate towards people who dont create deep connections, because it's easier than trusting that much/opening up properly. Do you find it hard to really open up? I think the thing is you end up with people who dont open up, then if you try to open up to them, they will just blow it off or whatever because they're uncomfortable/etc... What I think needs to happen is when you meet people, open up to them early... and see if they open up to you. In other words, try to make friends with people who seem capable of deep connections. At least, that's how it seems to me. I can't prove anything as I'm yet to succeed.
