I feel awful

Have you ever seen a therapist for this? It sounds to me like you have Social Anxiety Disorder, though I'm not a doctor. My sister suffers from this too, and I always try to tell her, "No one is judging you. If you just be yourself, people will see how awesome you are. If someone does judge you, then they're most likely insecure with their own life." My sister tried her best to see life this way. She has, and still is, slowly coming out of her shell. She has made so many friends because of this.

I do care about what you are going through. Are you afraid that someone will judge you?

 

Sorry you feel this way, I suffer from social anxiety too and yh it really sucks. I remember at Uni I was going to join an Ultimate Frisbee society but when I turned up I got so scarred because I couldn't speak to anyone and I felt so inferior. I left after a few minutes and felt really down for the rest of the day. I think I have gotten better over the years with talking to people but I am still usually nervous when I do which makes it really awkward.

But other times I have stayed at these clubs and places but I just didn't say much. People will always talk to other people, that's just how it is. People eventually noticed me and tried to talk to me because they saw me as a familiar face. So my advice is for you to keep going, smile and don't pressure yourself into speaking much. People will recognise you and will slowly warm to you. People may refer to you as the shy guy but there is nothing wrong with that, no one with a brain hates the shy guy . You need to stick to things like this in order to make yourself feel better, never be the quitter. Just remember that your not alone in feeling like this.

All the best mate.

 

Good! Telling someone how you feel is the best thing you can do. I suffered from depression most of my life, especially between the ages of 8-15. When I was 15, I finally told my therapist how I was feeling. I was terrified of telling anyone, but I knew I had to in order to get help. It was the best thing I ever did. I have my life back.

I was diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, Panic Disorder, and anxiety. My sister was diagnosed with OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. So I know what it's like for someone to suffer from it. Sometimes I just want to take my sister by the shoulders and shake her and say, "NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU. EVERYONE PUTS THEIR PANTS ON THE SAME WAY." XD But I know it's not that easy. Now tell me this... If you do get rejected in some way, what's the worst that could happen? You're not going to die. All you have to do is say, "meh ok." And walk away. I know it's also not that easy, but it's a start. You have to train yourself to not care what others think. This is your life, and you deserve to live it.

 

Know that the people on this site care deeply about your concerns.

Ask your therapist about medications for social anxiety disorder. They can work wonders for you. I speak from experience.

Don't despair. Get the care you need. If your therapist cannot prescribe these medications you need to see one who can, immediately. Your therapist should be able to refer you. Please explain how urgent the situation is.

Keep in touch with us.

Milan

 

I know how you feel. Deep down, I'm afraid of rejection, even though I'm extremely outgoing. But I am a true goofball and I act the way I want to, and people love it. If people judge me, I just think, "Pfft... Well fuck you very much you sack of boring."

I understand that, rationally, you know you shouldn't care what people think, because honestly... Who cares? They have their own insecurities. But that, subconsciously, you do care because you never want anyone to think negatively about you. But if you show that person that you don't care, eventually, they'll stop thinking those things and wonder what it's like to be that confident. I promise you this... If you work hard on being more outgoing and open up a bit, eventually you won't care what anyone thinks. I know this because I've seen it happen with 3 different people.

 

Okay, now is the time to go back and tell them that CBT is not working for you. Give them specifics. Ask them again for a medication that will also address your social anxiety disorder. Be insistent! This is important. It's worth the effort because it will make a huge difference in your life.

Milan

 

(*hug*)

Big hug to you!

Milan

 

I can imagine the scene. You took all that courage to go to a LGBT meeting and instead of fireworks you had that experience. Like being alone in a full room... I can see why that had such a negative effect. I think I was (am) the same in that my nerves create a shut-down, and the body language probably does not attract people to walk over and strike up conversation with me. Sometimes I have just walked out of parties without telling people I am leaving.

There is no simple answer, but everyone has probably said it above. Work on some techniques in starting conversations would be good. Your counsellor can direct you to techniques and ways forward.

Or go to the next LGBT meeting with someone you know as support.

Or just go to the next one alone and strike up a conversation "Have you been to these before? ..I came to the last one and I felt a bit left out of things ..." and I bet you will get a response and the talk will flow from there. I bet all those people chatting to each other were also nervy and desperate to hang on to whoever they were talking to that they did not spot you on the edge of things.

It takes hard work, but can be rewarding when you push yourself and you see results.

Also try less pressurised social things. There will be gay activity groups in Wales. Walking groups etc. These allow you to strike up 1:1 conversations with gay people in a relaxed non-pressurised environment. (*hug*)