So, this is my first post here, I'm still not confident enough to talk to anyone I know personally. I know that this is a very common issue (I've been around the internet), but I just felt like I had to get it out of me, and maybe get a response from someone who's been there. The thing is, I've been having this major crush on a friend for a while, and recently I fell in love. The thing is, this is a straight guy and I sort of grew up around him (we only became good friends months ago), I've seen him make out with girls, we've talked about sex and everything. I'm also not sure I'm actually gay or anything, I just really want this guy specifically. Well, that pretty much solves itself, if I'm so sure he's straight I shouldn't go and tell him I really want him, I wouldn't do that. But since I heard my other friend casually saying he thinks my guy is gay, I started thinking and thinking. A lot of people seem to think he's not interested in sex of any kind, and really doesn't hook up with a lot of girls. But that's normal, right, I'm not gonna jump to conclusions. Still, I can't even begin to say how many times we had one of those moments, looking into each other's eyes, separating from the group just to spend half an hour together, not being shy at all around each other (reeeally not shy...), and all in all, I just have this sort of vibe from him, like he really likes me. I just can't tell if he wants something with me or if he just really likes me as a friend. Again, I know this is really not big news, but I can't just ignore my feelings and I don't want to make him uncomfortable in case he's just specially friendly with me. I had thought about, you know, waiting, testing the waters, slowly checking for signs and that kind of stuff. What should I do?
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I'm new to this site too and shy as well but maybe I could help you. I had the same problem a month or so ago. I just gave up on all of it, which sometimes I regret but you cant change the past. I say if you get a vibe from him that he likes you then you should go for it but don't make him uncomfortable. Be subtle and ask if he would ever want to be with a guy if he says yeah then I would go on and tell him you like him. If he doesn't like you back ask to be friends and pretend that it didn't happen. Good luck I hope he likes you back you seem like a sweet guy.
This sounds extremely familiar. I've been in a very similar situation. We had been friends for a good while and we started seeing each other more and more and like you said, whenever we hung out with other people, we always made sure to have some 'us time' have it be before or after. And the eye contact of course. Eventually we got closer and closer and I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him how I felt (he thought I was straight and I thought he was). It was a lot for him to process but he took it really well. He didn't say anything about whether or not he felt the same. About a week later he told me he did. In the past week at that point he had been giving off all kind of signs but I was super oblivious. It wasn't until he started calling me baby that I realized something was going on and I asked him how he felt. So yeah. A week later we started dating and all was good. Until a month later when he wasn't sure how exactly he felt anymore, not sure about risking our friendship, not sure about coming out, not sure about whether he wants to date guys. So he broke up with me. This almost meant the end of the friendship but we both mean a lot to each other so we gave it time and now we're all good, we're not as close as we were before/during the relationship (which is a little more than a year ago now) but still very close. I'm not saying your friend would hurt you the same way. I'm not even saying he feels the same. But I'm seeing similarities so I'd say there might be something. But if you do choose to tell him how you feel (which will help you, granted he takes it well, regardless of whether he reciprocates), just be careful if he does claim to feel the same. Don't rush things. Because me and my friend did, and it only got us hurt in the end. Communication is key. Hope this helps.
Thank you all so much, this helps a lot, it's good to know how other people have gone through this. :icon_wink I think the best thing to do is try to spend some time together, that's a good way for me to be more sure about what he feels. It's just a nightmare to think that if I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, things will just go terrible. I mean, I've kissed a guy before, but it was a completely different situation, we hadn't even met before. This friend of mine, he... really makes a difference for me, I don't want to fuck it up. Now I'm just rambling, I guess that's what happens when you find a place to actually say things to actual people, and what you guys said really made me feel better, more relaxed.
