I can't remember the last time I felt proud of myself. I feel like I am always putting myself down. I'm not confident about anything, from my grades to my looks to any of my talents. I got one hundred percent on a test? That person got 101% because they did the extra credit. A girl hits on me? Even Quasimodo got pity. I can play an instrument? I am by far the worst violist in my grade. So.embody invites to sit with them? They just feel bad because I look lonely. I know these thoughts are irrational but I can't stop myself. This is the age of Narcissus, everybody loves to talk about how great they are, but no matter what I do, I never feel it was good enough.
You have to be good at and feel good about something. Are you creative? Do you have nice eyes? I'm sure that you will find that there is something that you are good at, something to be proud of.
I feel like that sometimes. Our self worth, I think, is measured by what we think others think about us. Isn't that funny? SELF-worth is determined by other people. Thing is, most people don't care about what you're doing. They're more worried about what people think about them. Kind of like you're doing right now. Just have fun and don't worry. It doesn't do you any good.
Joey is right. Very nicely put indeed. Maybe you could try some books about positive thinking. I used to laugh at them until I felt really down one time. And suddenly all that "crap and all those obvious truths that weren't worth printing because everybody knew them" (my thoughts), suddenly made sense. Yes I knew it, just like you know. But reading them was uplifting nonetheless and it helped.
Hows this... there are people out there that dont get complimented, or offered a place to sit. So you hav more than you realise In my experience all thoughts like this can be crushed with one simple fact... everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to go out of their way worrying about you. Thats not to say people never truely care, but rather, at the end of the day its their needs they will put first in most cases - so if someone does something, it isnt out of pity, its most likely an attempt to improve their position. I know its hard to break things down rationally in the moment, but remember people wanna look aftr themselves just as much as you do.
I'm very much like yourself so I'll bounce some thoughts off you. I'd like to know what you think. You've recognised that objectively you have good traits, but assign them an artificially low value, based on the value you think others place on your achievements. Others have been right to point out that most people really don't analyse you to the same degree at which you scrutinise yourself. So firstly - recognise that what others think of you is almost certainly different to what you think others think of you. Expanding more on the self-scrutiny, I believe there is a point where we can become too self-centred such that we lose sight of what really has positive value in the eyes of others. Our introspection needs to be tempered with some perspective. As an exercise, try to actively look at other people and reflect on the most positive things you see in them - and tell them (that way you know you've actually thought about it, and also it'll make their day!). If you're earnest in doing this exercise for a period of time, I think you'll find that making realistic judgments about yourself will be more attainable.
I think that what you just wrote could have come word for word from me. I always feel as if I could have done better, that I'm not doing good enough. However, I just have to stop myself and think I can only do my best, so why sulk over the not so good things in life? It's only going tomake me feel worse if I do, so I just focus on the positive.
