'Cause I traded in my heart just to have brain. I had a really good conversation with my brother the other day but he made a comment that really stopped me in my tracks. "I find it really sad that you've closed off your heart and that you don't seem to feel anything. You have to justify everything through cold, calculative reason." He was absolutely right, and that scared the hell out of me. I didn't actually realise it, but after reflection, I did remember that I had a softer heart - at least until my late teenage years. But it's definitely changed. I just don't know what has caused me to change though. Was it because I repressed my sexuality? Was it because I had to be the man of the house after my dad passed? Was it because I studied philosophy? Is it because I haven't had a romantic relationship yet? I still feel emotions, but only on a very shallow level. For that I feel like a bit of a fraudulent human being, and it frustrates me because I'm not sure how to change that. I value rationality, but I think there needs to be some feeling too. Does anyone have ideas of how I can find my heart again?
Holy crap dude get out of my head. Other than the conversation with the brother part this sounds like something I could have writen. To open your heart back up is not easy. The thing I found that helps most is go out in the real world and make some friends. I mean true friends. As your friendship develops you will actually begin to empithise with them and their emotions. As time passes the emotion that you are able to show your friends will spill over into your daily life. I was actually doing well before life happened earlier this year but I've realised that here lately I cannot show much empathy for anyone. I feel like a complete sociopath. ---------- Post added 17th Oct 2013 at 06:49 AM ---------- Holy crap dude get out of my head. Other than the conversation with the brother part this sounds like something I could have writen. To open your heart back up is not easy. The thing I found that helps most is go out in the real world and make some friends. I mean true friends. As your friendship develops you will actually begin to empithise with them and their emotions. As time passes the emotion that you are able to show your friends will spill over into your daily life. I was actually doing well before life happened earlier this year but I've realised that here lately I cannot show much empathy for anyone. I feel like a complete sociopath.
Hey kidnz, Well that's an emotion too, isn't it? It could very well be all of the above... Philosophy is concerned with one thing: The Truth, but in doing so (and Plato is mostly to blame for this) The Good was set aside and was made subservient to truth. There is one way out of this, I think. Yes a relationship will help, but the way to inject feeling into it is to bring some creativity to it. Rationality will tell you that the shortest distance to sex is point A to point B. No messing about with flowers, nice dinners, etc. Instead, take a circuitous route to the goal of love, bring some beauty to it, add meaning to mundane things, draw it out, make the journey as interesting, or even more interesting than the destination. You can even try this with food, rationality will tell you: eat protein and vegetable matter...quality, or "the Good" will tell you: filet mignon, some asparagus in a creamy dill sauce and some spring potatoes will make a fine meal! It's in the beauty of things, and beautifully made things that feeling and thinking come together. Notice I didn't say give up rationality, just bring another dimension to it. Enhance your taste and refinement when it comes to interacting with things and most especially with people...
Thanks for your ideas guys. Redneck, you've got a good point. I have a lot of friends, but amongst them I would only consider a few to be close, and of those who are closest to me, we only hang out infrequently. I know my failing on my part is the less than 100% effort to be a true and authentic kind of friend. I gotta work on that. greatwhale, thank you so much - you make a seemingly obvious point, but I had never really thought about it much. I would say I'm rather expedient in the way I deal with things and others (use of the word 'deal' is intentional). I guess it stemmed from a fear of being viewed as stupid - so I tend to curate my words and actions, instead of letting loose and just expressing myself. Injecting creativity into what I do and enjoying the journey and not just the destination is something I will really try to do. I think it's easier said than done though, especially when I've conditioned myself to self-censor for so long
I would cite as an example the Japanese. You should look at how they package everything, they have developed an esthetic so refined, so beautiful, and out of the cheapest things; like paper and reeds. Look at their tea ceremonies, sublimation of the mundane to the nth degree. They train their children early in the development and refinement of an esthetic sense, as in calligraphy...They are as rational as can be, but there is that something extra that calls upon deep wells of feeling, and it tends to show up as quality.
