I'm mortified. Everything fills me with dread. Until last week my own sexuality terrified me. I am scared of talking to people I don't know (even if it is somebody I want to know). I am scared to attend my school's GSA meeting. Sometimes I am even afraid of talking to my own friends. I fear simply walking down the halls of my school. I am even scared of my own nihilistic and sometimes violent thoughts. I am even afraid of my own family though I have no reason to be. I fear posting anything on this site... I just feel so helpless.
Could it be you have an anxiety disorder? Do you have any idea why you fear so many things? Fear of talking to people sounds common enough; that's just shyness that may be gotten over the more you do it. But if you constantly are afraid of varied things that aren't dangerous, you might want to talk to a professional about that. :/ Good luck in helping yourself; I wish I could give you a hug.
Aloha, Sitri I am sorry you're feeling so bad. I've been there before. But there is an answer; Ask your parents or your school counselor or your school health office if they can help you get an appointment with a mental health professional. There are a lot of great medications out there that will help you feel much better and help you get control of your life again. And do it soon; don't procrastinate or over-analyze it, just do it. Be healthy, be happy. Milan
'Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity'. Obviously you are very intelligent and search for the deeper meaning in things. This could translate to your agoraphobic nature. But understand this...for each thing that makes you feel bad, there are an equal amount of things that will rise up to protect and love you. It is often very difficult to take that first step to solving the riddles that plague us. and yes, even the little things can feel monumental. but, to quote Tolkien, 'every great journey begins with that first step'. It is true you won't know what will come of it - but over time you will be the better for it. I went through this too - I thought I would explode - or mentally snap!! Given your circumstance I would agree with the other posters on this forum - please reach out to someone (Even if you are not sure of your orientation). I would suggest The NYC help line: (212) 807-6655 or (800) 243-7692 or check for local help Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Transgender Near Me these resources will let you be anonymous. I would also suggest you call when you have time by yourself (away from others) so you will feel more comfortable. you can even delete the reference to the call on your cell phone Just look at all the posts you have received so far...people care for you...you are not alone!