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Do I prefer to hang out with girls because I am gay?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Rice and Pepper, Oct 19, 2013.

  1. Rice and Pepper

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    Having gone to a couple of gay clubs, I realized that in order to find someone for a proper, serious relationship, he should be found through your friends. But then I thought that I have very very few male friends (in case one of them might be gay). So I began thinking why I have so few of them. I have also tried to observe how I act in front of guys, how I talk to them, what impression as a person I give, and so far I have noticed that I have to make additional effort to socialize with guys, altough I manage to look friendly and interested in geting o know them. It just feels more natural talking to girls.

    So I was wondering why this is happening. Is it that I have more in common with girls? Is it that I am gay so I feel there is a gap between me and the gender I am attracted to? Do I subliminally cause it to happen, because gay guys stereotypically hang out with girls? Do guys notice that I can easily talk to girls so they become envious/competitive and don't like me (quite farfetched, but still)? I really can't understand what the problem is.

    What's your opinion on the aforesaid?
    If you are gay too, have you noticed all that happening to you too?
     
  2. photoguy93

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    Girls are *usually* more accepting. Not that I haven't been around some very bigoted females in my life, but it just seems that girls are more open. On top of that, girls tend to have similar likes and dislikes.

    I am not into sports. I am not into getting covered in dirt and being outside all the time. Even more than that, girls like to talk. I cannot stand one word responses from guys. It drives me absolutely nuts.

    Guys won't look at you and think "oh my gosh, he's so good with girls... I am jealous" unless you are really in the closet and super straight acting and they think you're sleeping with everyone.

    I will also add that if you think that you're automatically supposed to get a guy because of your friends....you're wrong. I thought the same, and it's not happening. It hasn't happened in years. It doesn't matter. That's a whole other topic.

    So that's pretty much why I'm friends with girls. I know I have probably offended someone with these comments, but I'm just being honest. I don't think it's bad.
     
  3. Dalshabet

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    Having grown up with a masculine father and 3 masculine brothers, sometimes I find myself levitating to girls because sometimes I just need something that's not hyper-masculinity (sports etc)

    Although this being said, even though I am gay my best friends have always been guys, guys can be just as accepting as girls.
     
  4. gravechild

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    I have more male than female friends, though the female friends I do have aren't what I would call your typical "girly girls". No, I don't think sexuality has much to do with whether you prefer to socialize with girls or guys, since everyone is different. There are plenty of straight guys with mostly female friends, due to interests, personality, upbringing, or whatever else, for example.

    I don't think I've ever consciously picked friends due to their gender alone; it just so happens that a lot of people I "picked out" along the journey were male, in a 2:1 ratio roughly. With guys, it's a lot more laid back and practical conversation, while with girls, it's more emotional advice and idea bouncing.

    Get it out of your head that all men are this, and all women are that. If you really want to branch out, you'll have to make an effort to see that one isn't really that different from the other. Getting more involved with the transgender community has shown me this in spades.
     
  5. Rice and Pepper

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    Gravechild:
    I think I don't distinguish people based on their gender. I mean I have no problem talking to anyone and don't expect a specific reaction, different bewtween guys and girls. But whenever I am with guys, sooner or later I will run into an invisible barrier. That doesn't happen with some guys, but they are a miniscule minority.



    What actually bothers me is that I have very few male close friends. E.g, I want to talk about something sexual. My female friends will surely want to hear about it and they will lively take part in the conversation, but they don't understand what I feel. They may even hesitate if I get into shocking details. Guys would get more easily in such a "sexual hunter" conversation.

    But then there is one other thing. Given that you have come out to a guy, how can you talk to him about your crushes etc when they all are guys, just like him? Won't it be awkward? Won't he feel uncomfortable? And how will he respond since he is straight and obviously not into guys?
     
  6. MrAllMonday

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    I noticed I have an easier time talking to girls. I find it hard to talk to most men because I end up liking them so...