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my first experience of homophobia....

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by srslywtf, Oct 20, 2013.

  1. srslywtf

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    So im a litfle naive when it comes to the discrimination us gay people face, given that up until recently i did my best to look / act straight.
    Got a fairly good introduction to it on the weekend... Apparently now that i 'look gay' i cant be walking down dark alleys at night like i used to.. luckily i was already toward the joining street when these 3 dodgy guys started to hassle me. At the time i figured that was all theyd planned on doing, but i told a friend about it and apparently that was not the place or people i want to find myself around again. So i got lucky.. but all of a sudden that liberated, confident 'just came out' feeling is not so strong anymore..... its sad but today it actually entered my mind when i was deciding what to wear.. im not going to let it change me, but its always going to be in my mind... and all of a sudden i feel alot less safe out at night.

    Just wondering about other's experiences. Town at night is my world/life/playground, but there are parts im not surei can go to anymore.. Im definitely going to be alot less tight in terms of getting cabs rather than walking..

    Also feeling very alone right now.. have yet to find myself any local gay friends.
     
  2. Nick07

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  3. GirlWhoWaited

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    I'm lucky to be a very tall, tough-looking girl, so most of the time, people leave me alone. But then again...it's harder for a girl to "look" gay or bi, and even then... We just don't seem to get as much hate from guys. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. My heart goes out to you. It sucks when you don't feel safe because of something like that. Can you get pepper spray in Australia?
     
  4. Ruby Dragon

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    I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Can't believe how cruel some people can be (*hug*)
     
  5. Sully

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    Do you mind saying what city you're from (I'm melbourne :grin:), and stuff like this does worry me a little, even walking around during the day, past groups of miscreant youths, they heckle me, not really homophobic slurs because I don't 'look gay' but I guess I'm somewhat of an easy target, young looking guy by himself. I don't feel comfortable alone at night unless it was in the middle of the CBD!
     
  6. fortheloveoflez

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    I'm sorry that you feel less safe. Generally, because I am a woman I never walk alone at night and would be afraid to.

    Although, I will say I have had a few guys follow me and yell "are you a lesbian?" when I was out alone...so ya it is kind of scary...

    I guess we both need to watch where we are walking nowadays.
     
  7. srslywtf

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    Thanks guys.. yeah I guess it's somewhat different being a man - a tall broad shouldered one at that - I was pretty much used to going where I please and not being bothered regardless of the situation... Definitely made me more aware of my surroundings and people's intentions toward me.

    Sully, I'm in adelaide :slight_smile:
     
  8. greatwhale

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    I'm curious...what about your appearance has changed since you are gay?
     
  9. Choirboy

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    I've had a few very minor flashes of this lately....I generally take my walks through my small suburban town after dark, and when I was a big, burly 300-lb. guy I never really thought about it. But now that I'm considerably thinner, and have a more "gay" look to my clothing and walk, I've had a few carloads of guys shout derogatory things at me. I try to ignore it (not that hard, since a lot of times I really can't understand what they're saying anyhow). But it's occurred to me more than once that if I end up in a bigger city eventually, that sort of thing will definitely frighten me.
     
  10. biggayguy

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  11. BiPenguin

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    I'm afraid it happens but I don't believe it is as bad as it use to be. I got into a couple fights in the early 90's when I was set upon.
     
  12. About the guys yelling derogatory things from cars, I had a similar experience, except I was in the car when it happened. I was going to a party with a friend of mine, and we we're in a car with a group of his other friends, who I have to say are all f***ing stupid. In their excitement they all started yelling at random people on the sidewalk. It was so embarrassing... I'm pretty sure I even heard them say "faggot" a few times, which kind of pissed me off because I was out to my one friend, and he was yelling obscenities just like everyone else. However, I know he didn't mean it, he's very accepting of me and of gay people in general, as are most of my friends, but they say "that's gay" or "don't be a fag" a lot. That being said, they just don't think about the weight of their words because they don't understand what it's like to live in fear simply for being yourself. As for the guys yelling from their cars, they were probably just feeling on top of their world and couldn't handle their excitement.
     
  13. MrAllMonday

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    I have had people swearing at me, making rude comments (e.g. ewwww your gay/faggot), throwing junk food at me, laughing at me and giving me dirty looks. This usually takes place in public.

    People that know me say that your such a coward, I don't act like a man and so on. I think they want some sort of confrontation with me but I never respond to trash. I'm not sure if this counts as homophobia but I have had people try to embarrass me in front of others by questioning my sexuality. On rare occasions I had people that try to pick fights with me.

    You will get used to it. I'm from the Muslim community and they pretty much hate gay people from my experience.