Hope this is the right place it sounded like it was Hey I jut need a bit of help not a good week lol iv bee putting on wot of weight so now I have this big belly and it's really hard to luv myself when I have peopl at school throwing insults about it and such And then reading these fanfiction stories of my favorite charcter being cute/adorable/petite/ and feminine and such and I end up wanting to be like that and I can dream of it but then. Wake up and see myself in the mirror I know that's not real and I Wong be able to look like that but it gets hard a lot of the times if tht makes sense at all. I just sometimes I wish I could become that charcter and have gorgeous men to love me and protect me but I have everyone in the family hounding me to get a wife and kids and such but I want to be with a guy and i feel like this is wrong to say but I want to be like the wife in the home cook clean and such and be pampered by my man and feel good but my self esteem is almost non existent and it's just so hard. I Ike reading the fics of my favorite character getting his man and then being loved and protected and such and nobody goes against them or there family accepts them yet I'm afraid to go and ask a guy out or tell my family why does it have to be so dang hard and reading the fiction stories hurt even though I know it's not real? Is it okay for me to want to be like the wife and want to be pampered and protected? Would a guy do that? Or is it just purely fiction to make it exciting and beautifull romance? I'm just so confused/hurt I donh know what to do or think anymore
Life isn't an epic romance. There are a lot of difficulties and struggles that get in the way and make love hard. Even when people do get the person, there are still fights and it's not always perfect. That being said, that doesn't mean that you aren't going to find an incredibly happy life. The person that you find isn't going to be a tsundere with a heart of gold, or a flawless hero. He is going to be a man with flaws, just like yours. What makes these flaws amazing though is that he is going to understand your problems as well. Life isn't going to be perfect, but he's going to make that okay. Even when the two of you fight and get upset with each other, at the end of the day you are going to still love each other. Life isn't beautiful like it is in the fanfics. It's much more strange and wonderful. You are going to find a man who will make that a reality. You can be a stay at home dad. You are going to be attractive to that man. You just need to be patient. Don't look for a fantasy life. Look for a life that is going to be fulfilling and happy to you.
I know life isn't a fantasy and nobody's perfect but can't we sometimes wish? Ty for the advice it helps
That's my advice. Instead of trying to force a fantasy, go out and try to make things that are real and great into a reality. For one thing, put yourself out there. Try online dating if you are too nervous to talk to guys in real life. You can't expect your perfect guy to just fall in your lap. Sometimes you have to go out there and look for him, even if that means you find him indirectly. But the bigger issue is the fact that you don't seem to have faith in yourself. Bullying can take a huge toll on your self confidence. Instead of trying to find the love of your life, you should be trying to love yourself. There are a lot of ways to do that. However, something I suggest is finding something that you have always been scared to do, and just doing it. Or maybe even focusing on something that you love, but are too scared to pursue. You say that you like reading fanfiction. Maybe you could try writing your own fanfiction. Even if you don't think it's good, just keep doing it anyways. Be persistent and you will improve and grow. The craft will then become second nature to you. Or maybe even just reading fanfics and reviewing them can be fun for you. Become a fanfic connoisseur. Read everything closer and analyse why and how you like it. Give advice and critique the author. You might find out that you really like looking deeply. Who knows, maybe the thing you love might not even be fanfiction. I'm sure there are dozens of things that you want to try, but you are too scared. It's perfectly fine to be passionate about something, but you can't lose yourself in them. Find a way to make they things that you like part of your world, rather than mistaking it for the world you live. You are your own fanfic. Be the protagonist in your life. Even if it's just baby steps. Even just starting to be proactive can make all the difference. Experience the world as it is. Even with the bad stuff mucked into it, it's still going to be your best shot at happiness.
Ty Ty so much!! Truly inspiring for me I'm glad I stumbled upon this wonderful site and it helps having two wonderful friends as well shesaw me post this and immediately called me Ty so much for the advice I'm gonna give it a try and try to not live in the fanfiction and work on loving myself first and who knows maybe the guy I'm looking for will end up helping never know eh? I was a bit scared to post that but now I'm glad I did it helps talking to people. I think instead of trying to escape reality by drowning myself in fanfiction and such I'll take ur advice to do something I luv but am scared to do or something new and my friends advice to quit worrying about others opinions and jug the myself and go with the flow. Ty I can't describe how much ur words have helped xD I hope u have a wonderful weekend
